Grey's Anatomy and Writing Just Go Together

Grey's Anatomy: “Here Comes the Flood”

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 19:24:56 GMT

Review for Episode 3, Season 5

Like the premiere, this episode was okay, and it even had flashes of genius in it. (I've come to the conclusion that the first season was almost all genius and that's why it can't be replicated). I liked this episode over all.

The first piece of genius that struck me was not the stories of the regulars, but was instead the amazing performance by Daniel J. Travanti, the sixty eight year old actor who played Barry, the chronic pain patient. (The writer was brilliant too). He topped the great scions of Broadway from the premiere and made me weep with him. He showed exactly what chronic suffering is. And of course he reflected the wounded healers all around him, including Meredith, Alex, Izzie and even that horror, Cristina.

She has always been cruel. She has always been offhand to the patients and to her “friends”. She has always been the selfish one in my book, not Meredith. She had zero compassion for that man. She essentially called him a liar to his face and she called him wimp behind his back. I've always struggled to understand her and like her. In this episode she sank beneath, way beneath, even insane George or Izzie of season four, in my estimation, when she added to the pain of that desperate man, who would even have had a lobotomy, if it would stop his pain. I've seen doctors do harm like that too many times in hospitals and I'm done being tolerant of it, even with a television physician.

I thought the five were friends under it all, but I get now they aren't. Meredith is the center and she has four friends. That's the five. No friend could ever treat another as cruelly and offhandedly as Cristina treated Izzie. She even laughed in the face of Izzie's incredulity and pain at the bar when Izzie realized Cristina had back stabbed her with Callie. Cristina didn't offer to help Izzie resolve anything (I'll revoke the deposit, pay me and take over the deposit, take over the apartment we're leaving, help me figure out what to do to fix this, I'll help you look for another place, etc.), she wasn't sorry for what she'd done, and she offered no genuine or heartfelt apology for the pain she caused. Cristina was a completely callous, selfish bully, as she has been many times before. If I were Izzie, that would be the end of all pretense of friendship for me. (And, by the way, Callie didn't look too good right there either, laughing gleefully).

People have commented that Meredith takes a step forward and then back she goes. I think one of the weaknesses of GA over the last few years is that they make all the characters do that. I loved Cristina finally getting that she needed to teach Lexie in the S4 finale, but here she was, not even letting Lexie complete a sentence and ignoring her completely as beneath notice, when she had an idea about Barry's pain. I'm glad that Sloan at least listened to Lexie, even though he was impatient. Cristina did gain some respect for Lexie in this episode so maybe her attitude will improve again.

In a paradox, the scene in which Cristina calls Barry a wimp in the cafeteria, and Alex whacks her wrist, was also a complete stoke of comedic genius. It was shades of season one tunnel and cafeteria scenes and I loved it. Everyone, even Cristina, even though she was mean!, in the scene rocked. Best of all, George was back to being likable George and that was such a relief.

I don't understand what the writers are doing with Alex. He's fabulous with the aortic aneurysm patient, and then as cruel as Cristina with Izzie. Then he says, “hello”, like he does care about her. I don't get why he hates being thought of as a good guy. Maybe good guys are wimps?

Izzie is in as much pain as Meredith and has been since Denny died. I have a lot of compassion for her and never felt otherwise even when she was being insane. Mental illness deserves as much compassion as physical illness, imo. I wouldn't watch Gizzard, but I never hated her. I just see her as someone trying to climb her way out of a pit of insane grief, making mistakes as she goes. In the “hello” scene, I wanted Meredith to touch her hand or put an arm around her, or say more than one sentence. I'd really like a deepened friendship between them. It is completely new and unexplored territory and would be fun to watch. I'd also have loved a roommate scene between Alex, Izzie and Meredith after the “hello” scene.

I thought the scenes between Meredith and Shelly, played by Samantha Quan, were also brilliant. Meredith was great with that poor, sick, scared woman, from beginning to end. She was amazingly kind and caring and present. I loved EP's performance.

I also think the performance by Amy Madigan, as well as the writing, for Dr. Wyatt is wonderful. She nailed it with Cristina. I wish Derek and Lexie and George and Alex and, most of all, Cristina, would take advantage of her. I assume Izzie still has her own shrink.

The Merek scene at the end was good -- not great – but good. I love them being together so much. Meredith's face over his shoulder was so sweet. I know I'm being sappy, but I admit that I like them sappy. I wish we could have more sappiness, but I'm grateful for what we get.

Good for you: Derek, for listening to Mark about Barry, and for humbly “watching” in surgery. George, for being unselfish and passing the intern exam. The Chief, for having a real story line, even if it is obsessive and compulsive. Erica and Callie for taking it slowly and carefully.

Favorite lines: Lex-opedia! You're not alone, Iz. You don't get to ambush me. Medical facts are falling out of my ears. Turbinectomy, no lobotomy. This time tomorrow he'll be out of pain for the first time in seven years..

Grey's Anatomy: Season 5 Premiere: Dream a Little Dream

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:52:26 GMT

Review for Grey's Anatomy Season Five Premiere

I actually thought the premiere was okay. It wasn't over the top fantastic, like S1, but it was pushing the reset button across the board, for which I am heartily grateful. I'd finally been disappointed in GA last season to the point that I'd stopped watching. Now I feel like I can watch again. Which is a minor miracle for me since I love GA so much.

I do have to confess right away that my husband and I LMAO over Rose making Derek pay for his sins. My dark and twisty mean side even liked seeing that ass get stabbed in surgery, his throne room. She hit him where it would most hurt in more ways than one. (Of course if she'd really hurt him, that would have been a different story).

I have been so angry with him. He swore he loved Meredith, and then couldn't give her a couple months to get over three deaths, including her own, etc. He made love to Meredith and kissed Rose on the same day. That broke my Derek loving heart. Even in the S4 finale he was very cruel to Meredith over his frustrations over the trial, and then expected her to be right there when things went well. And she was. Of course she was, in her candle lit imaginary house. Even though he never said one word of apology. Derek hasn't been a good guy in forever and I've missed him.

When Rose stabbed him, it was as if he finally suffered a consequence for breaking a girl's heart. Shonda has always laid all the crap at Meredith's door and nothing at Derek's. He's gotten away with far too much heartbreaking on this show IMO, both with the ladies there at SGH and the ladies in fandom. In fic world the passive aggressive mistake made by the plant was a-okay with me. Somehow it drained some anger from me, so I could fall in love with him again. And then, best of all, she left! Yay! I know Shonda will probably pull her back in the show again here and there since she is still in SGH but at least Derek won't be having sex with her.

I liked what they had of Merek together. They were actually talking to each other, which is wonderful. When they watched their patients reconcile, I so wanted Derek to at least put his arm around Meredith. I'd love to have them a little more affectionate even if we don't get sex scenes. I do, however, agree with an earlier commenter that Derek shouldn't have slammed Mer with her marriage fears the way he was slammed with baby fears by Rose. That was too mean. I want him to be funny and sweet again to Meredith like he was in S1.

I think Erica is a better match for Callie physically, mentally and emotionally than either George or Mark. (Weren't their new hair styles cute?!) The two women do seem to have a spark between them. Besides, after Shonda had Cristina taking Derek's place so much with Meredith I was a little afraid she'd make them the lesbian couple. Erica and Callie are WAY better for that. Plus, neither lady is a good match for Mark, so now he can find someone else. (There was a spark of friendship between him and Lexie, of all people. I was surprised to find I could go with that.)

I thought both George and Izzie were well on their way to being sane and fun to watch again. Thank heavens. The patient played by the incomparable Mariette Hartley, whose memory reset every thirty seconds didn't annoy me as she did others. Instead, I watched Izzie be the real Izzie – sweet, compassionate, caring and patient – with her, and with the other two ladies, played by Bernadette Peters and Kathy Baker. It was sad when Alex played evil spawn deliberately to drive her away again and all she was left with was the old dream of the perfect man.

I loved all three guest stars. They are truly American treasures from Broadway and cinema and I loved seeing actresses of their age get great parts. You go, Shonda, not everyone is eighteen or size four.

Meredith obsessing over her decision to go back to Derek didn't annoy me either. I think most of us would go through the buyer's remorse process, only we'd do it in our heads. I don't consider it whining, that's something else. Meredith was just doing it out loud, and frankly, I like it when they talk. The awful walking away silences are what bother me. And the reveal of the disastrous Merge to Lexie was funny.

Meredith was with Cristina every step of the way through her labyrinth of pain last season, even going on the honeymoon with her, so Cristina needed to just suck it up and stop for two seconds to be supportive of Meredith's shy heart. Meredith stopped obsessing as soon as Cristina reflected positive support back.

I also liked the macabre humor of Cristina being stabbed by an ice knife as soon as she dissed Merek. I know, I know, I'm being hateful again. I liked that a strange Prince Charming came and swept her up and carried her off to save her. I liked the Chief busting Cristina in the sickbay, and Hahn busting Cristina on poor general surgery skills in the surgical suite. And I really loved Cristina coming through for Meredith in the end.

Dr. Hunt was different enough and hot enough to interest me for Cristina. She always says that surgery is tough, macho, the Marines. Now she has one (okay Army) in the flesh. I think he was able to teach her what no one else has – that it isn't about competition and always being the best. It is about making mistakes and learning and being there for the next patient. That seemed to be an epiphany for her. Yay.

Lastly it was very sad for me to see Richard treat Meredith the same way Thatcher had. He blamed her for a death that wasn't her fault and then gave her a verbal, instead of physical, slap in the face. Somehow the writers brought SGH dropping from 2 to 12 around to being all Meredith's fault. I knew they would. Everything is always all her fault. The redeeming feature was that Derek took the opportunity to stand up for Meredith to Richard, like he should have done to Thatcher.

Wishes: Mark and Alex get good story lines this year. Merek making true love. George continuing to be good, likable George. Sane, loving Izzie. The clinical trials that Derek and Meredith did bringing fame and goodness to SGH. Lots of cool surgeries. Never to see Rose or Addison again. Merek happy, playful flirting.

Best lines: Dead mouse! Karmic impalement. Move in with me.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:49:30 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 55: She's Back

“Meredith! It's a boy!”

“Meredith! Webber reinstated me!”

“Meredith! Burke's driving me crazy!”

“Meredith! Sloan says 'now'!”

Meredith heard the chaotic, demanding jumble of her friends' voices coming at her from three directions and the phone all at once.

Okay, now I know I'm back at Seattle Grace, Meredith thought on her first day back, shuffling films, test results and surgical notes into order in a chart.

“Grey! Do you have my post op notes done?” Bailey demanded, preempting everyone, thank heavens.

“Yes, Dr. Bailey. They're here,” Meredith said and handed her the stacks of finalized charts.

Bailey gave her a sharp evaluating look, nodded without speaking again, and obviously satisfied, with both Meredith's health and work, left without another word. One down.

“Cristina, yes, I heard you, I do want to talk,” she said to the demanding, irascible voice in her ear, “but there's a ton of stuff going on here all at once. Let's get together when I get off shift to talk about it, okay? Joe's? Yeah, see you then.”

Meredith looked up at the three interns champing at the bit in front of her computer station and grinned.

“George! Congratulations! A boy! That's great. Boys really run in your family, huh?” Meredith started with George, and then stopped Alex with a Diana Ross hand, before turning to Izzie, “Izzie, you made it! I knew you would! Derek's been bragging about you. You know he's trying to woo you away from general surgery to neuro now, right? I'm so happy for you,” Meredith finally turned to Alex, “Sloan knows that Dr. Bailey gives me my assignments, not him. And Bailey didn't release me from her service to be Sloan's slave today. She doesn't trust me out from under her own eye, she said, I might get drowned in the bay next. Ha ha. Yeah. That's Bailey's idea of funny. I already told Sloan that. He can take it up with her.”

“Meredith ...!” All three voices broke out again while Mer bemusedly looked from one to the other, actually able to hear and comprehend all three excited conversations at once. She'd obviously learned an unexpected skill set from all the time she'd spent in a crowd lately, she thought, her head swimming. She occasionally inserted a 'yes' or a 'no' or a 'good for you' but that was it. When had she become everyone's news bulletin board? Izzie and George were both babbling rapidly to her when they should have been babbling to each other like they used to. Their friendship needed to be repaired just so Meredith could have some peace, she thought, darkly amused. Meanwhile, Alex was insisting she come deal with Sloan herself, since he was being Satan's son that morning.

“George, tell Izzie all the details about the sonogram and what your mom said and how Callie is, okay? Then I'll catch up from her tonight after work. Great news, both of you. Come on, Alex. Really, what is Sloan's problem?! He's worse than usual today,” Meredith deflected George and Izzie back to each other and walked away with Alex, who was insistently urging her to move faster.

She glanced over her shoulder, grateful that her eye had healed completely, and smirked at the sight of the two erstwhile friends semi trapped with each other. Maybe they could create a new friendship between them that was a little healthier than what they used to have. They stood a good chance, Meredith thought. Both of them had been doing a lot of growing up lately. And it had jerked George out of some of his self-absorption when he realized that the killer could easily have murdered Izzie. He'd tried to talk to her several times after that, but Izzie was gun shy of him now, after he'd shut her out so many times, and had refused to allow him closer than an acquaintance. Maybe Callie's baby would change things, Meredith thought as Alex swept her into an elevator and up to Sloan's office.

“I don't know, but he's been even more of an ass than usual,” Alex said, exasperated, “Maybe you'll be okay with him, Grey, since you still have some patient cachet. It's your only hope.”

Meredith knew it had to be bad if Alex was this frustrated and gloomy. He usually dealt with Sloan's irritating quirks with a detached equanimity, but not today. He knocked on Sloan's door, shoved her inside at Sloan's grunt, and was gone as if he had evaporated rather than walked. Okay, that indicated it was worse than she'd thought.

“Dr. Sloan, you know that I'm working under Dr. Bailey today. We had this discussion already,” Meredith reminded him in exasperation, as she carefully looked him over.

He looked for all the world like the beast in 'Beauty and the Beast' before he was tamed. The scowl was the same.

Sloan glared at her, “Sit down.”

Meredith reluctantly sat and waited ... and waited. Finally she cleared her throat. Attendings were the end. Really, Sloan was being very odd, and she didn't have time for this. Bailey had set out a full day's work for her. Sloan stood, tried to pace, couldn't in the tiny space, and in frustration, sat again.

“What is it?” she asked.

After a few more minutes, “What?!”

“Meredith ...,” Sloan finally started speaking hesitantly.

She nodded, trying to keep him talking.

“Siobhan said you heard us in the bar.”

She nodded again, uneasily.

“Siobhan and her family are moving to Seattle,” his lake blue eyes flashed.

“Yes, I know,” she admitted noncommittally, wondering where this was going. For some reason, ever since she'd been terribly, publicly hurt and then held captive in a hospital room recovering for forever, everyone had decided she was the perfect person to confide in. What was up with that?

“Sio and I ...,” Mark's thoughts stalled, “Sio and I ... well ... what do you think?” he finally got out uncomfortably.

“Mark? I've never seen you like this. Are you actually worried? You really care about this, don't you?” Meredith was really surprised. She'd supposed that Mark would take a relationship with Siobhan very lightly and offhandedly as he had every other relationship he'd had with a woman. The one woman Mark had put more effort into, that she knew about, was the Adder. Meredith frowned slightly. Ew. She'd never understand Derek or Mark's attraction to that awful woman.

“Siobhan is perfect for me, Meredith. She doesn't expect me to be somebody I can't be – like a husband or father. She says Keith is that for her and she doesn't need or want anyone else in that position. Do you think she means it?” he asked anxiously.

Meredith slowly, uncomfortably, nodded. She didn't want to discuss this with Mark, but she'd actually already had several conversations about this with Siobhan, Derek and Claire, the youngest Shepherd sister. Siobhan was set on this course of action. She'd been unhappy for years, trying to achieve her career goals while longing for children and Mark. She'd had more success as a medical researcher than she'd ever dreamed, but had grown more and more cynical and bitter, without a love or family of her own.

In typical Siobhan take charge manner, she'd finally decided to get where she wanted to be, by an alternative route, if the main road was blocked. Now Siobhan had her career status and financial independence, a husband who dearly loved her and was her best friend, identical twin girls, and a chance at a relationship with the man she'd loved for over twenty years. Siobhan was going for it, risking her whole heart.

Meredith thought it was all very strange and very unlikely to succeed, but she also knew that she was hardly a relationship expert, and it wasn't her place to object. Siobhan was a smart, hardworking person who deserved to pursue happiness. She'd been miserable most of her adult life. Mark was someone who'd pursued married women for years so that they didn't ask more commitment of him than a brief affair. Now he had a chance to try something that was similar enough to his previous pursuits to be non-threatening and different enough to perhaps really fill the empty place inside of him. Besides, Mark genuinely loved Derek and Derek's family. Who knew? It all might work out for the best. Meredith really liked Mark Sloan and had finally decided to like Siobhan, so she wished them well.

Meredith had spent a lot of time lying in her hospital bed, observing Sio and Mark, and everyone else, for that matter. Mark had definitely become more and more intrigued with Sio as the days went by. It was as if a whole new door had opened for him and he was suddenly very interested. She tuned back in to what Mark was saying.

“I've known her since I was five years old, and we both know each other's family and history. Siobhan has never let me get away with anything,” he smiled reminiscently, as if that pleased him. It probably did. He didn't suffer fools gladly.

“Meredith, is Derek okay with this?” Mark finally ground out his real question.

Oh, Meredith thought, if he makes a mess with Siobhan, he's afraid he'll lose Derek again. Mark really cares about this.

“Mark, why don't you talk to Derek directly about this? I really can't speak for him. You're good enough friends now that it would be okay. That way you'll be on the same page from the start,” Meredith brushed her hair out of her face, “Besides, do you really see Siobhan asking her little brother for a vote about this? I don't think so. That lady has a mind and will of her own and Derek is smart enough to respect that. I think you should be too.”

Then Meredith stood and stepped up in front of Mark's desk.

“But Mark, speaking as someone who's not your intern right now, but instead as someone who absolutely can't tolerate one more round of 'who hurts worse' with my people, it's not Derek you'll have to worry about if you screw over Siobhan,” Meredith said very softly and very purposefully, her thin face set, “And make no mistake, Sio is now one of my people. Be up front with her and keep your agreements, whatever they are – no cheating or lying or sneaking. I mean it. If it doesn't work out, tell her to her face. Don't let her find out by catching you with another woman. This is your chance.”

Mark raised his eyebrows and sat back in his chair in surprise, understanding that Derek's Meredith – tiny little Meredith Grey – first year intern! – Meredith Grey – was actually threatening him. He went from surprised incredulity to complete amusement. Siobhan would be as astounded as he was at the thought of Meredith as protection. Then he thought about Meredith charging a large criminal with a can of mace and a tiny knife after she'd already been badly stabbed three times. Well, okay then, respect crept in. Maybe he'd remember that the next time he razzed her.

Meredith heard herself and was surprised too. She never would have said such a thing or felt like this before. But she was with Derek and Derek's family now. Maeve had told her to call her 'mom' and had steadily mothered her for weeks. Maeve had even been there as a buffer between Meredith and Ellis. That was something Meredith appreciated more than she could say. Siobhan had sat with her through the pain filled nights more than once, giving Derek a sleep break, for no other reason than that Meredith was her new 'sister'. Meredith was starting to feel that they were family because they acted like family – they treated her like family, Meredith thought. Hm. She narrowed her eyes at Sloan and then turned and left, closing the door very deliberately behind her. She was surprised he hadn't laughed in her face, but maybe he knew she really meant it. She was also surprised to realize that she did.

“Meredith!” Derek's voice was happy to see her with none of the worry or hovering bossiness that they'd both struggled with for so long after the attack. They'd both recovered considerably; body, mind and spirit.

“Hi, I thought you'd still be in surgery. What happened?”

“We've been bumped to tomorrow,” he said and shrugged even though it had annoyed him very much at the time.

Derek cast a professional, assessing eye over his girl and smiled. She was fine. Maybe a little tired, and impatient with all the first day back stuff, but she was okay. Ignoring the nursing staff who were watching them and whispering, Derek gathered her in a hug and kissed Meredith firmly on her soft lips.

“I'm glad you're doing so well today,” he murmured against her lips, “no panic attacks?”

“No,” she leaned away against his arms and shook her head, “just a ton of paperwork from Bailey. It's her way of welcoming me back and punishing me at the same time for taking all that time off.”

“Meredith,” Derek smiled into her eyes, “Bailey's just following protocol.”

“Hey! No defending my boss when I grouse. You're supposed to do the boyfriend thing and tell me she's Satan's rat,” she paused a moment at his arched eyebrow and patient look, “okay, his mouse.”

“Better watch it, Derek,” drawled a sardonic voice, “Tiny tot will kick your ass.”

Derek looked up at Mark's interruption, “What?”

“Yeah,” Mark completely ignored Meredith's narrowed eyes and frown while he tattled, “Meredith just threatened to kick my ass if I messed up with Siobhan. Totally threw me. I thought that threat would be coming from you.”

Derek looked between them as Meredith scowled guiltily at Mark and then at him.

“Mer? Did you just put my sister ahead of your specialty?” Derek slowly asked, his dad's lovely smile (the one he and Sio had inherited) spreading across his face, “Did you really threaten to go all Xena on Mark if he hurt her?”

“No,” Meredith stated emphatically, glaring at the big tattletale and then at her mate, who were chuckling, “I put our sister ahead of my specialty ... and I only made Mark a promise, that's all, not a threat.”

Derek and Mark exchanged glances, thoroughly amused. Mark liked her chops and Derek liked Meredith's obvious growth. She wasn't running and hiding from family any more. She was embracing it. She was part of it and she was protecting it. Derek felt his chest swell with pride and love.

“Well ... ,” Derek said to Mark, “Now that Meredith has taken care of it, I won't have to, right? Because after that last week in the hospital everyone knows she's a lot meaner than I am.”

“Derek!”

“Believe me, I thought of that!”

“Mark!”

They were both grinning at her like baboons. On the one hand she loved it that they were actually playing and teasing together again. She knew it was a sign of how much their friendship had rebounded. But, on the other, it seemed that they liked to band together and target her. Not good.

“If you will excuse me gentlemen, I have work to do,” Meredith said haughtily and started away, neatly turning the tables on Derek with her next words, “Derek, don't wait for me after work. I have a date at Joe's. I'll find my own way home.”

Mark guffawed at Derek's surprised, worried, bossy, confused look, “Yep, she does like to get her own back. She's just turned you on your ear. At least you know she's really over the attack, right?”

"Mark, wanna get a drink after work?"

Mark laughed louder.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:50:47 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 54: Home Again continued

Something tickled her tummy several hours later and Meredith murmured and rolled to get away. The tickling increased across her back and bottom, feathering down her legs and finally driving her crazy between her toes. She slowly opened her eyes as she stretched her feet out to see Derek mischievously sitting up next to her dragging a fluffy little puff ball on the end of a flexible plastic stick across her sensitive skin. He feathered the insides of her calves and thighs and then trailed his little toy across her belly again.

Meredith giggled when he deliberately tickled her under the chin and behind her ear. Her nipples pearled and Derek unhooked the front clasp of her brassiere one handed. Still half asleep Meredith forgot why she'd been worried about nudity until Derek feathered the thin lines across the top of her breasts and the long line down her sensitive side following it under the curving underside of her breast. She shivered and wanted to curl up and cover herself.

That feeling slowly dissipated when Derek lowered his dark, silky curls to trace the same path over again, using his soft hair to tease her. Meredith shivered and quaked and then thrilled when he replaced his curls with firm lips. He nibbled at the tops of her breasts and then traced a path down her side following the line like he could erase it. And magically he could. Half asleep, Meredith's blood heated with every nibble, preventing shame from getting too tight a grip on her, until nothing else existed but her lover making light, tender love to her. All her uncertainty melted away as her banked need for Derek reawakened and intensified. She was suffused with sensual longing, not with fear or worry.

Derek was careful to apply no pressure to any part of her still healing body so the ache she felt was all pleasurably sensual. He alternated teasing her breasts with his fluffy toy and his gentle lips, then he teased his way down her belly to her tummy ring. As always, he stopped to circle it and play with it, nibbling her soft flesh all around. Meredith shifted off one of the largest semi healed bruises on her hip so she could concentrate on Derek's loving mouth. He pulled her panties down her legs when she lifted her hips, taking advantage of her shift. It felt natural and right to Meredith and delighted Derek. His kiss followed her panties down her legs and then he licked and nibbled his way back up.

Derek delicately licked and sipped from her feminine crevasse and was thrilled that Meredith was already letting him have such intimacy. She wasn't afraid of him or of sex. She'd always been amazingly open, giving, and hot in bed and she still was. Derek had been afraid that the vile creep who'd attacked Meredith had succeeded in stealing some part of that from them. He never doubted they'd be able to work through it and reclaim it, but it was a tremendous relief that they wouldn't have to. They already had mounds to overcome with her anxiety and panic attacks, her worry over the scarring and imperfections, and the constant unfavorable comparisons she made between herself and Ellis or Addison.

That last baffled Derek because it was so obvious to him that Meredith was so much more than either of those cold, rigid women. He'd said as much to Meredith while she was still hospitalized, in front of Dr. Ingersoll, but he wasn't sure it sank in. He'd made his point though. Ingersoll had taken note of both his concern and Meredith's reaction.

For his part, he was still too overprotective and bossy with her. He'd been working on not taking everything too personally, and he thought he'd made progress, but he still had to force himself not to hover every minute. It had helped when Guiseppe had intervened for him a few days ago and had made Meredith understand how he felt ...

“Derek! You're hovering again! Please, go sit over there and let me do it by myself!” Meredith had said, finally so exasperated with him that she'd wanted to shove him out a window.

“Meredith,” Derek had started to speak semi apologetically, semi frustrated, but had been interrupted by her step dad.

“Bambina,” Guiseppe had finally, mercifully, sternly, intervened, “your wounds are obvious and deep and quite painful, si? Well, so are Derek's, and you have no care for him. It is time you see what we see, and think about someone besides yourself. For every wound you have, Derek has one too,” Guiseppe's words, voice and face were unusually strict and they made pouty Meredith pay attention and straighten up.

“Look at it from his point of view. His beloved was attacked by a madman and for a time, he had no idea if she'd been raped or killed. For sure he knew she'd been brutally beaten and stabbed. Even her friends were beaten and stabbed. She was terribly hurt and he, an extraordinary healer, could do nothing to help her or her friends,” Guiseppe had held up his hand to stop Derek, who had been trying to halt Guiseppe, “No, Derek, she needs to hear this. See, even now, he tries to protect you.

“Do you know how horrible it is for a strong man to be unable to help the woman he loves? Trust me, that brings a man to his knees, I've been there. Every moment he worried if you lived or died was utter torment. Your pain was his pain, your tears were his tears. Put yourself in his place. How would you have felt if it were Derek that had been stabbed, beaten and kicked?” Guiseppe relented a little and gave a gentle smile in response to Meredith's stricken look.

“So, if he needs to reassure himself by taking care of you now, then it would be very loving and kind on your part to let him. Gradually, over time, your relationship will balance out again, but in the meantime, how do you say? Cut the slacks for your man.”

The mood lightened and Meredith giggled at Guiseppe's idiomatic mistake, “Okay, Papà, I'll cut Derek some roomy slacks.”

Derek had smiled when Meredith had thrown her arms around her dad's neck and said, “You're the best, my Papà, and I love you.”

Then she'd thrown her arms around Derek and said, “I'm sorry I haven't taken care of you the way I should have. I didn't understand.”

Derek had hugged her gingerly to his heart and had gratefully nodded to Guiseppe over Meredith's head. Guiseppe merely shook his head wisely at the pair. Humph, even though they'd both been through years of study as doctors, they were still so young ...

Derek tasted Meredith's feminine passion and his own rose again. She was so beautiful and special – his strong, talented woman. He lapped her passions into a hot intensity and grinned when she moaned and clamped her thighs around his head. She threaded her fingers through his hair and tugged when molten heat suddenly erupted between her legs and shot through her system. Meredith screamed her release and Derek gave her soft nexus one last kiss, before nibbling his way up her body again. He rolled with her in his arms onto his back, and covered them with the quilt again.

“Oh, babe, that felt wonderful,” Meredith murmured into his throat, “I love you so much.”

“Meredith, I was a worried that we'd have problems with this after everything we've been through. A lot of couples do, I suppose,” he softly questioned her, even as he commented, kissing her hair and snuggling her on his chest.

“I guess that ... man ... was more about general attacking and fighting and safety for me,” Meredith answered him after a long pause in a small voice, “He didn't manage to attack the sex act itself. Does that sound weird? Is that normal?”

“Oh, baby,” Derek kissed her reassuringly, “I don't know, I'm just glad.”

“I still feel so awful about how I look, but that's all, I guess,” Meredith admitted.

“They're already just lines, Meredith, and Mark says they'll keep reducing. Soon, whatever is left won't even be noticeable to you,” Derek nuzzled her temple, “They're not noticeable to me now. Besides, how could they grab my attention when you have two other lovely attention grabbers right here.”

He naughtily felt her up, and Meredith squealed, “Derek! Hey!” then she giggled when he lightly tickled her.

He was still being extremely cautious when he touched her so he didn't hurt her. Meredith snuggled herself into a closer fit over half his body and closed her eyes, ready to sleep again.

“Hey, yourself, lady, you're going to have to let me up if I'm going to have any chance of sleeping tonight.

“Aw...”

“Up.”

“Derek...”

“No.”

“What if ...”

“Well, if you put it that way, c'mere you.”

Meredith giggled excitedly as she mounted him for a slow ride back to paradise.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 03:18:14 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 54: Home Again

Derek had asked his mom to stay at the cabin on the lake to accept delivery of all the furnishings and to oversee workmen in last minute details. It had occupied Maeve away from the hospital for the last week of her stay in Seattle, giving Meredith a pause from too much company, and really helping Derek with the house. Siobhan had kept Maeve informed of Meredith and Derek's well being over the phone.

Then Guiseppe had stepped in after Maeve had gone home. His authoritative competence and continental charm were enough to keep the construction crew on their toes and keep them working on the main house. He actually found the project interesting and stimulating and had suggested several good ideas to Derek. The result of Maeve's and Guiseppe's support was that the cabin at the lake was completely done and furnished and the new house was totally framed with the exterior walls and roof in place when Derek and Meredith drove up.

Derek enjoyed Meredith's gasp of surprise and pleased exclamation, “Oh Derek, it's beautiful. I can't believe how much is done already. What did you do with the trailer?”

“I traded it to the construction foreman for his son. So the price of the trailer is in the new stainless steel appliances for the main house now. The cabin is all we'll need until the main house is finished. I asked Guiseppe if he wanted to stay out here with us, but he said that we needed our privacy, not a father with a little boy. I have to say I'm glad they chose to stay in town this time. We do need some space. Next year, when they visit after our main house is done, they can stay here, or if Zachary visits alone, he can stay with us in his room.”

Derek parked and helped Meredith out of the car. Going from standing to sitting or vice versa, bending, was still problematic for her. Meredith started towards the cabin and Derek grabbed two suitcases and followed. She stopped every few feet and looked around like she was making new maps in her mind. Every change excited her and she praised his choices.

Derek went ahead and put their bags in the largest room and then went back out to the car to unload groceries. Meredith had just made it to the new double hammock in it's own heavy duty frame set in the dappled sunshine. The material was waffled with holes so water would drain. Meredith noticed it would be comfortable for two and grinned, picturing trying it out for more than napping.

Derek was already unpacking groceries into the brand new refrigerator when Meredith entered the finished guest house for the first time. He paused a minute to watch joy light her face. She excitedly looked around at every elegant detail clasping her hands over her heart.

“Derek, it couldn't be better. It feels warm and comfortable as well as elegantly high class. Do you like it? Did it turn out the way you wanted?” Meredith asked, searching his face.

“Yes, I love it. You picked the right color combination and Mom coordinated everything really well. I couldn't have done half so well by myself, and a designer would have been too impersonal. We only made one real mistake with furniture. You know, I showed you in the hospital. So I sent that piece back and replaced it.”

It made Derek smile to watch Meredith wander through the house touching everything, oohing and awing as she went. He heard her exclaim in happy surprise several times when she opened cabinets and doors. The huge flat screen TV behind the carved mahogany cabinetry in the living room was a real favorite since Meredith loved watching old movies to wind down. The whirlpool tub in one bathroom made her clap and the shower big enough for two in the other bathroom made her sigh. There would finally be enough hot water to spend as much time in here as she wanted. Yay.

Meredith smiled at all the fresh bottles of her favorite bath products lining the shelves. She knew that was Maeve's touch. Derek wouldn't have thought of that. Then she grinned at the prominently displayed top-of-the-line electric razor. Maeve was definitely trying to tell Derek something. Meredith brushed her teeth and washed her face in her new sink. She casually brushed her hair as she wandered into the bedroom to change out of her clothes. They'd turned out to be a little too tight and restrictive for her wounds.

Meredith stepped out of her clothes and sighed in relief. She turned, in just panties and bra, and froze when she saw Derek leaning against the door jamb. Immediately she covered herself with the blouse she'd just pulled off. She didn't want Derek to look at her. She wasn't ready to look at herself, let alone let Derek look at her.

“Derek, you startled me!”

Derek eyed her knowingly and casually straightened, walking into the room. He pulled his sweater off over his head and unbuttoned his shirt. Meredith watched, mesmerized, as Derek tugged his shirt out of his pants and shrugged it off. He rubbed a hand over his lightly furred chest and belly making her catch her breath. Wow, her feminine body suddenly responded to the male beauty of his with a whoosh of feeling. Her mouth went dry as she watched Derek slowly unzip his slacks and then hook his thumbs in the waistband to lower and step out of them. He deliberately turned sideways so she was treated to the intriguing sight of the prominent tent his erection made in his shorts.

Meredith tore her eyes away and started looking for something to put on to cover up. Derek simply cleared his throat, drawing her attention right back to the spectacular view he provided. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his shorts and shimmied them slowly down, letting them catch on his prominence and pull it down until they slid off, allowing his gorgeous penis to spring back up, straight and stiff, ready to love her. Meredith moaned and couldn't take her eyes off it as he walked slowly to her. Derek softly brushed both hands over her hair, following the curve of her head into her throat, and then smoothing lightly over her shoulders and arms.

“You are as beautiful to me as I am to you. I love you the way you love me. I accept everything about you, good and bad, the way you accept me. Would I be diminished in your eyes if I'd been hurt?” Derek smiled warmly into Meredith's eyes.

She shook her head, “No, of course not, but ...”

“Believe me when I say this physical state I find myself in is all about you. I haven't been able to think of anything else but loving you for the last half hour. Trust me, okay?”

Derek took one of her hands and placed it on his chest. When she uninhibitedly caressed him he closed his eyes in pleasure and tilted his head back.

“Touch me, baby, I need it so much,” said Derek, making it all about him, instead of her, so she could relax.

Watching his face, Meredith trailed her palm over the muscular pad of his pectoral and then lightly stroked over his deltoid. He felt so good – all hot, satin skin over hard muscle. She flattened her palm on his chest again and petted him to his abdomen. The corners of Derek's lips turned up and his belly rippled convulsively under her loving hand.

“Mm, that feels so good. Touch me more, honey, touch me all over.”

Forgetting herself, Meredith dropped her blouse to use both hands to please her lover. She pressed both hands up his mid line and then caressed over his chest to both shoulders and down his sides to his hips.

“It's been too long since I've felt like this, sweetheart,” Derek crooned to her and lightly hugged her, rubbing his hot bare flesh against her cool pale skin.

Meredith trembled and wanted to hide again when she saw his eyes open, looking at her. But then he dropped his warm mouth to hers making her mind blank to everything but his playful tongue. Derek barely traced the tips of his fingers around and around, over and over her soft back and arm, face and chest. Meredith's need mounted until she moaned into his mouth and clung tightly to his shoulders. She pressed into his long length pressing into her tummy, making him pulse.

Suddenly, Meredith pushed him, urging him to sit on the end of the bed. She excitedly dropped to her knees to lick and kiss his heavy manhood. Derek sat up at first, watching her, but when the sexual thrills mounted, he spread his knees wide and dropped backwards on the bed, lying flat. Meredith wrapped her arms around his hips with her hands under the small of his back. She suckled his cock deeply into her mouth and closed her eyes enjoying the moment.

Derek groaned and panted, trying to control himself, but ultimately Meredith had her way with him. She kissed and sucked him into heaven. He decided he was going to lie in heaven forever so he sank into their new bed and flung an arm over his eyes. Meredith crawled up beside him and urged him up higher so he could lie full length. Grumbling, he complied and was only barely aware that Meredith covered them with a quilt and snuggled in beside him. In another moment he was deeply asleep. Meredith smiled mysteriously and closed her eyes in a deep dreamless sleep too, her healing wounds forgotten.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:20:12 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 53: Discussions Continued

“Now, I know why the patients always say this is stupid, Derek. It's because it's really, really stupid,” Meredith sulked, “I can walk perfectly well. Tyler probably has a million better things to do than to push me to the door in a wheelchair.”

Tyler and Derek exchanged commiserating glances over her head. They'd both born the brunt of her increasingly irrational ill humor the last few days. Derek had sloughed it off repeatedly without taking it personally or running away. He was actually rather proud of himself for weathering Hurricane Meredith so well. After Maeve and Siobhan had flown home, Mr. Sandage and Guiseppe had been there to bolster him and help him keep his head on straight so he hadn't been alone.

Guiseppe had gone ahead and rented a house in Seattle for himself and Zachary through August. They planned to stay until Zachary had to go back to school. Guiseppe said both of them needed more time to get to know Meredith. Zachary would also get to spend the summer fishing and he was thrilled. Meredith was really happy about it, but so far hadn't been able to express how she really felt through her current bad tempered shell.

“Hush, petulant girl, another few minutes and you're a free woman. I'm sure Tyler and the other nurses are as thrilled about that as you are. Focus on that,” Derek said with both exasperation and good humor mixed. Tyler just rolled his eyes above and behind Dr. Grey's silky head.

Hospital personnel kept stopping them every few steps to say goodbye and best wishes to Meredith. By the time they arrived at the doors Meredith nearly leaped from her seat. Alex was waiting next to Derek's car, parked at the door, with two security guards benignly watching and ignoring all the rules they were breaking. All of them felt somewhat responsible for Meredith's injuries since it was one of their number who'd been drunk and passed out the night she was attacked, so they turned a blind eye now.

“We made it, genie eyes. Now don't overdo it once you're home, okay?” Alex leaned down and kissed her petal soft cheek, “See you later.”

“Thanks again, Alex, for everything. I'm sorry I've been ... well ...”

“Cantankerous?” supplied Alex.

“Sullen?” added Derek.

“Crotchety?” Tyler put in his long suffering two cents.

“Mean?” the three men spoke together, then laughed when Meredith frowned at all of them.

“We're all just glad you made it through to bust our chops, Meredith. You have nothing to be sorry for. Just get well. See ya at home later this week,” Alex said as he helped her to the car.

Meredith gave a final wave to all her well wishers and slid into the car, letting Alex close it behind her. A few more minutes and Derek and Meredith were on their way home to the lake cabin. They planned to spend three day weekends at the lake and the rest of the week at Meredith's house for the next few weeks.

“Oh my God, Derek, I can't believe I'm finally out of that place! If it weren't for surgery, I'd never go back!” Meredith exclaimed, then she sighed and sat back in her seat.

“So does this mean I get my sweet natured girl back, finally?” Derek asked pointedly, signaling for a turn into a fast food place.

Meredith had asked for the greasiest, most caloric, fast food on the planet as her first meal out of the hospital and she wanted to wolf it down in the car on the way home, like a barbarian. Derek had given in this once to letting her eat hamburgers in his new car, just to make her happy. Her mood had darkened so much and her tongue had turned so acid the last few days, that her doctors would have discharged her even if she weren't ready. Vitriolic Meredith was fun for no one.

“Maybe,” Meredith grudgingly said, “I'll know after a cheeseburger, okay?”

“I can't believe I let you talk me into this. Don't ever tell Burke we ate at a place with so much heart unfriendly grease,” Derek said, grinning as he watched his girl visibly lighten up at his indulgence.

“I won't tell, if you won't tell,” Meredith actually smiled. She was finally free! Her head had stopped aching and her wounds were sealed, if not healed. Her bruises had faded considerably, her eye was better, and she had a plan to deal with Ellis. She and Derek were going home!

“Mom and Siobhan said to call and let them know how you liked the place, Meredith,” Derek said, “They're getting Siobhan and Keith's house ready for sale. Sio was offered a position out here yesterday. She said that sealed the deal for her. Her family's moving to Seattle.”

“Are you okay with that, Derek?” Meredith asked, looking at him closely.

“Yeah ... yeah, I really am. Siobhan was there for us on every level when you were almost killed. I can't forget that. I don't really understand her choice to marry a gay man, but I love the twins and I could never say she shouldn't have had them,” Derek shook his head, “I've wanted children too.”

He couldn't imagine willingly being in a marriage with no sex. The eleven cold years he'd endured were more than anyone should have to take, but Siobhan wasn't even living with coldness, she had nothing. No wonder she was sarcastically sharp all the time.

That thought made Derek glance over at Meredith speculatively. Maybe her surliness wasn't all from the hospital, after all. He grinned and drove a little faster. He was looking forward to the process of sweetening her up. There was still a lot she wasn't up for, but he was imaginative enough to think of other ways to satisfy them both.

They drove onto the ferry and Derek dumped the fast food trash before helping Meredith up to the deck. She was carefully wrapped in layers of fabric, but Derek handed her a scarf and gloves anyway. She was still weakened and he didn't want her chilled. Meredith sighed and leaned into Derek's hard chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. It had been so long since they were together, alone, and happy. Derek wrapped his arms around his girl and looked out over the view. His face was pressed to her soft hair and her familiar scent made him content. They swayed together looking out over the Sound letting the water and the salty air, the mountains and the greenery renew them.

Meredith leaned back from Derek and looked up into his face, “I'm glad we're going home. I've missed having you all to myself,” she smiled softly at him and played with the black curls tumbling over his collar.

“Look at that,” he teased, with his 'sexiest man of the year' smile spreading over his face, “all my girl needed was a cheeseburger, after all. I'll have to remember that path to your good side.”

Meredith swatted at him, “Oh, you! I haven't been that bad! You're exaggerating!”

“The next time you go back to the hospital, you can ask Karev, Tyler, Olivia or even O'Malley if I'm exaggerating. All I can say is I finally saw the genetics of Ellis Grey in action in something besides your skill in medicine. If it weren't for this, I'd still be doubting you were her daughter.”

“Derek! That's a horrible thing to say! I wasn't as mean as Mom! Was I?” Meredith asked uncertainly, worried now.

“Honey, no one is as mean as your mom. I'm just teasing you. I can't help it, I'm so happy to have you back,” Derek leaned down and covered her soft, surprised mouth with his own.

Meredith instantly melted. He was so hard and warm, his mouth delicious and perfect. She twined her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck and held him tightly as he deepened the kiss, touching her heart with his tenderness.

“I love you, pretty girl, I love you so much,” Derek's voice cracked as gratitude that she was here with him overwhelmed him again. It was going to be a long time, if ever, for him to take their time together for granted again.

Derek sat on one of the few benches on the ferry and pulled Meredith close to his side. She huddled under his arm and they simply sat and enjoyed the view until it got too cold for Mer and they were forced inside. Derek talked about his latest surgery and other normal topics so Meredith felt better moment by moment. It was really over. She didn't have to go back to the hospital, except for shoulder therapy and work.

She'd also been working with Dr. Ingersoll to alleviate the anxiety and panic she still had sometimes. So she guessed she'd keep seeing her. They'd put a plan together to handle both the future care of Ellis and the trial of the rapist. Meredith felt better because she had plans to follow.

“Derek,” Meredith said slowly after a while, “I told Dr. Ingersoll everything that Mom said and did on her lucid day. Izzie's right, She just look at you, and you spill your guts.”

“Did you tell her about that boarding school in Switzerland when you were a girl?”

“I never thought I could tell anyone else what happened there, but I did. I'm as surprised as you are. I told her about the Giordanos and Zachary. Then I told her about Africa. And I've never told anyone all of that,” Meredith actually felt nervous perspiration break out across her forehead at the thought of Tanzania, “She's surprising. We have a plan worked out for Mom and I only feel a little guilty. Mostly, I feel relieved.”

“What's the plan, honey?”

“Mom has more than enough money for her care. I've been very careful with her investments. There's enough to hire two full time nurses who will serve mainly as companions for her on top of the general care giving staff of Roseridge. They can cover seven days between them. I don't ever have to see her again if I don't want to. And right now, I don't want to. The way she refused to talk to Zachary was the last straw. I'm going to use my accountant at the investment firm for bill and tip payments so I only have to drop in and check on Roseridge monthly and go over the accounting and medical plans bi monthly. Dr. Ingersoll thinks it could work for me. What do you think? If I don't make myself go see her any more, do you think that's too harsh?” Meredith asked Derek a little anxiously.

“Meredith, frankly, I don't understand how you've stuck it out this far. If you don't want to see that woman ever again, I don't see why you'd have to. Abuse victims shouldn't be forced to take care of their abusers. You've arranged for her to have excellent care which is more than she's ever done for you,” Derek said carefully.

He didn't think he'd ever understand all the history and nuances of Meredith's relationship with Ellis. All he knew was that he wanted to minimize the hurt from this point forward. Let Meredith do whatever she had to do to be easier with Ellis. He'd support it.

“Your mom has been more of a mom to me since I've been hurt than my mother's ever been. She's asked me to call her 'Mom'. You and I are together now, and Maeve Shepherd is our mom, not Ellis Grey,” Meredith gave him a wobbly smile, “Thanks for giving me a mom, Derek.”

Derek couldn't resist kissing her, “You're welcome, baby. I just want you to be happy and healthy, that's all. You deserve lots of good things in your life now.”

“I have you, Derek. I couldn't get better than that.”

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:53:30 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 53 continued

As Siobhan and Meredith made their way back to her room, leaving Yang in the gallery, Siobhan finally struck up the conversation Meredith had been dreading, but now couldn't escape.

“I'm sorry you had to hear the details of my life in the bar. I'm sure that wasn't pleasant for you,” Siobhan said deliberately, above Meredith's head. There was a slight question in her tone asking Meredith for confirmation that she actually had overheard Sio's private conversation with Mark.

“I'm sorry I was there too, Siobhan. I'm not a gossip and I certainly won't repeat anything I heard. It just isn't any of my business,” said Meredith bluntly after taking a deep breath.

“You haven't told Derek?” ask Sio curiously, still interested in the character of this slight girl that so enthralled her brother.

“No, it's not his business either. If it were, you would have already told him,” Meredith stated.

Siobhan quirked an eyebrow. Hm. Meredith really did have a thing about gossip if she could keep silent to Derek over such a juicy piece of news as this. Meredith notched upwards in Siobhan's estimation again. She'd already raised considerably, after Sio had heard all the details of Meredith's spirited self defense in the parking lot, and again after she'd learned all about Ellis. She knew now that gossip was a key to Meredith's trust. Gossip and she wouldn't trust you, don't gossip and she would. Good to know.

“It's alright, Meredith. I'm planning on telling Derek tonight. And you should know the rest. Keith and I are thinking of moving to Seattle,” Siobhan stopped walking and circled around to sit in on a bench, where they both looked out over the view, and Sio could see Meredith's expression, “He has a job offer from Microsoft that we both think he should take. It would be a huge step up for him and his lover has already moved here. I've been exploring job opportunities and neighborhoods while I've been here. But ... I wanted to ask you and Derek what you thought ... I've been waiting for you to be well enough ... I don't want Derek to ...”

Siobhan paused and looked around. It was strange to see the normally strong, straight forward woman, hesitant.

“Well ... feel like I'm crowding him. I know he came out here originally for a new start away from all of us,” Siobhan turned to fully face Meredith and asked, “What do you think?”

Meredith's insides were alternately aching and clenching. With Siobhan here, Derek's family, all of them, would have a much greater influence and presence in his life. Somehow that scared Meredith, even though she knew it would be good for Derek. Siobhan was difficult to know, dark and twisty in her own way, but also very fond of Derek, as anyone could see. She'd also made a huge effort with Meredith over the last few months.

“What about Mark? You ... oh, there's no other way to say this, but, is it healthy for you to be so close to Mark again? You seem to really love ... erhm ... and he is still partying with lots of women...,” Meredith miserably made a huge effort to speak her reservations.

“Mark and I continued our conversation yesterday, Meredith. He is through with Addison, for good. She was always there as his unobtainable love before, so he played around with everyone else as a total dog. He never looked at any other woman as a love interest,” Siobhan rubbed her sweaty palms across her thighs, “I asked Mark to date me if I move here. I have a husband and a father for my children so I don't need him to make those kinds of changes. All I need is a boyfriend who can be an exciting lover and who shares my interest in medicine. I need Mark to let me love him and spend time with him – and I want everything he has to give me back, no matter what it is, no matter how much it is. I'm tired of doing without and I just can't seem to find someone else to love. Mark said he was interested. I think he's been lonely here.”

Meredith didn't know what to say. She had grave reservations about all of this, but who was she to say anything? She hadn't lived Siobhan's life, or faced Sio's choices. All Mer felt she could do was try to be supportive, because she knew that Siobhan must already have decided. She wasn't really asking for opinions or advice.

“It will be wonderful for Derek to have you here, Siobhan. I know he's missed having his family close and he's going to love spoiling the twins. I don't know how he'll feel about you and Keith or you and Mark, but he's said that he's a lot less judgmental than he used to be before his own first marriage fell apart,” Meredith shifted uncomfortably and Siobhan shook herself out of her self absorption to see that it was more than time for Mer to be back in bed.

“Darn, Meredith, I promised I wouldn't let you overdo it, and here I was the one who pressed you too hard,” Siobhan quickly pushed Meredith's chair down the hallway and helped her out of it in her room.

Meredith paused in the bathroom first and then climbed back in bed. She said goodbye and good luck to Siobhan and then closed her eyes tiredly and thought, I need to go home to get some rest.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:55:53 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 53: Discussions

“Grey!”

“Yes, sir,” Meredith had gone back to professional courtesy since Mark had kicked her butt after catching her in Joe's two days ago.

“Come to my gallery at two, Sio can bring you in a wheelchair. Karev you're with me on the floor. I want you both to watch me perform a facial reconstruction for one of the burn victims. I want you where I can personally keep an eye on you and where there's a possibility of cramming some learning into both your demonstrably empty intern heads while I'm at it,” he grumped that last at their overjoyed expressions.

Mark had kept Meredith almost on lock down for the last two days, irritated like the prima donna he was, that she'd risked herself and all his careful work. Alex, unfairly, had been put on changing bed sore bandages. Meredith, knowing that she deserved some of it had gritted her teeth and born it. Alex had groused but had grimly hung on. So this was a major concession that thrilled them both. Of course Mark was also sending Sio and Cristina with Mer to keep an eye on her in thegallery but who cared? Meredith and Alex were about to get some major surgery time. Yay!

“No more than an hour, Meredith,” said Shepherd, his arms crossed over his chest.

“But, Derek, really, I'm fine. I'll just be sitting there. What harm is there in that?” Meredith tried an innocent, meek smile, “I slept most of the morning away.”

“I don't trust that smile for a second, lady. Sio, keep your eye on the time and on my girl, will you? Thanks,” Derek leaned over and kissed his mulish girlfriend on the lips, naughtily running the tip of his tongue across the seam of her tight pressed lips. With his worry vastly reduced, he was starting to miss her in his bed, so he teased her a little.

“Derek, hover much? Telling Sio to hover is really you hovering! Stop it!” Meredith crabbily refused to kiss him back, turning her face away.

Derek just kissed her again with soft lips, sweetening his kiss until she gave in.

“You love me, baby, even when I hover,” Derek smirked, annoyingly cute, “And you have to give me points for going back to surgery and letting you in Mark's gallery. Right?”

Meredith just stuck her tongue out at him childishly.

Two days ago Derek had gone ahead and issued an order to all the interns to limit their visits to Meredith's room. They all had to eat in the dining mall again. If Meredith wanted to join them there, maybe she could, when she was up to it. Adelmann suggested starting the rehabilitative therapy for Meredith's shoulder, so her frustrated energy would now be put into something necessary and useful. She was obviously ready to be challenged. He was about as happy as Mark with Meredith's outing and expressed it with a creased forehead and basset hound eyes, followed by a twisting of his fat fingers, interlocking them together. Meredith felt like a criminal.

“Dr. Ingersoll will be down to see you before you head to the gallery. Love you,” Derek kissed Mer again and stroked her soft hair from her face before he sped out the door to scrub in for his next surgery.

Meredith knew it was a mark of how much better he considered her that he was scheduling two surgeries a day now, but she still resented Derek's and Webber's insistence that she take therapy from the top psychiatrist on Seattle Grace's staff for the assault at work. Derek had said that this time they weren't going to go it all alone, either of them. Derek was getting closer to both Maeve and Siobhan, as well as Mark again, accepting their support, and their counsel. Dr. Ingersoll, who had been giving Izzie therapy since she asked for reinstatement, made time to talk with Meredith daily now. Psychotherapy was mandatory for Mer's eventual return to work too, like Izzie.

“So, how was the head shrinking?” Cristina asked as they settled in to watch the surgery a few hours later.

“You tell me, Cristina, you and Izzie have to see Dr. Ingersoll too, since you were also assaulted,” Meredith replied snappily.

At first, being forced to see Dr. Ingersoll was one of the things Meredith had deeply resented (feeling as if she were being punished) and one of the stressors that had pushed her out the doors to Joe's, but after the anxiety attack in the parking lot and her unreasonable break for impossible freedom, Meredith had quietly admitted to herself that she could probably use the help. Talking to Cristina snarkily on the phone just wasn't cutting it. Besides, Ingersoll was amazingly mild mannered and easy to tolerate. She was one of the least judgmental people Meredith had ever met, right up there with neurosurgery's Dr. Adelmann and the morgue's Dr. Yarber.

“She's not so bad,” was the rave review from Cristina, who shrugged, eyes glued to the surgery below.

“How are the wedding plans coming?” Meredith asked, changing the subject from one that was still very uncomfortable for her to one that was very uncomfortable to Cristina instead.

Cristina immediately puffed up like a porcupine with its quills at the ready.

“Mama,” she spat, “has told me that I absolutely may not wear a backless or strapless dress now that my back is scarred. Mother has been on the phone to me at least five times a day torturing me with colors, and doilies, and napkins! She wants me to pick bridesmaids! Bah!”

“Well, what does Burke say?” Meredith asked while admiring Sloan's adept speed, knowing that Derek would have protected her from his mom. There was a positive side to the hovering, after all, she mused.

“That's just it. When I said 'yes' to him, he agreed to getting married at the courthouse with just you and Shepherd as witnesses. But, now, it's as if he never heard me or at least has selective memory about what he agreed to. I tell him what I want and he ignores me to shove enough wedding cake down my throat to choke me,” Cristina said, as dark and twisty as Meredith had ever heard her. This just couldn't be good.

“Have you asked Dr. Ingersoll about it? Maybe she could teach you how to communicate with Burke so that he really hears you,” Meredith suggested.

“No, all I talk to her about is what it was like to see a serial rapist/ killer standing over my best friend,” Cristina bared her teeth in a fake smile, “Burke's never even asked me exactly what happened that night. He just told me 'you make foolish choices sometimes, Cristina'. What am I supposed to say to that? Should I have run away and let you be raped with a knife? Damn him!”

Both women shuddered.

“Thank you again, Cristina. You saved my life at huge expense to your own,” Meredith said humbly.

“You and McDreamy and McDreamy's family have already thanked me a hundred times. Enough, stop irritating me. You would have done the same for me. It kind of rankles that I have to thank Izzie though. Barbie saved my life,” Cristina shifted miserably at the admission.

“Cristina! You haven't thanked Izzie yet?!”

“You thanked her enough for both of us, don't you think?” Cristina grumbled knowing what she needed to do but unable to make herself behave.

“No, Cristina Yang, I don't think. You owe her and Derek. Be a woman. Pay up,” Meredith said sternly.

After that the activity below heated up and they sat enthralled no longer talking.

“Times up, Meredith,” eventually said Siobhan, who'd been maintaining silence the whole time on Meredith's other side, “Come on, I don't want the lecture Derek or Mark would give us if you stayed longer.”

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 21:33:58 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 52: Busted continued

“So I hear you went for an unauthorized stroll, baby. What were you thinking?” asked Derek in a low voice, stroking his fingertips over her hand and kissing her cheek.

Meredith sighed and stopped pretending she was asleep. She supposed she'd have to face him sooner rather than later. She'd just planned on it being later in her own bed. Her plans were just not working out today, that's all. She was sick of being sick, she thought crankily.

“I wanted to go home,” Meredith admitted pitifully, almost pouting, “I left you a message on your service, Derek. You would have gotten it when you got out of surgery.”

“I know, Meredith. Telling me to meet you at your house when you should be safe in your bed here, was a little cryptic, don't you think?” Derek had a thread of steel in his voice.

“Derek, don't be mad, okay?” Meredith sounded like a little girl.

“I am angry, Meredith. You knew better, and you endangered your recovery. You can barely walk, let alone go home,” Derek said sternly as a doctor, more than as a boyfriend, “I want you to promise me you won't do something so foolhardy again. I can't believe Mark found you at Joe's!”

Meredith cringed at the incredulity and strict command in his face. She could see he was really disappointed in her. That hurt the worst.

“I thought you were past running away to Joe's,” Derek said frowning at her “Talk to me.”

“Derek ... Derek ... I ... you hover!” she finally blurted out after staring into the distance and stumbling for words, “Your mom and my step dad tuck and touch, my friends bitch and eat, Alex and Mark boss me all the time, Zach chatters, and I couldn't figure Siobhan out (well, I couldn't before Joe's anyway),” she said that last under her breath, “I can't get comfortable in this stupid bed, and I want my own bed and bath, and I know I'm whining! I just don't want to be sick anymore. Besides, this cast and these darn sutures itch! Okay?!”

Derek waited for Meredith to look up and said mildly, ignoring everything else she said for now, “So, I hover, huh?”

“Yes ... constantly. I know you've really been worried about me ... but now I can't make a move without you watching me, honey, and you're driving me crazy,” she said in a small voice, then glanced at him under her lashes.

A small smile crossed his handsome face.

“Derek, are you laughing?” Meredith pouted. She couldn't help it. She knew she was being childish, but she couldn't seem to help it, “I wanna go home.”

Derek sighed as relief rippled through his system, “You're getting better. You really are. Thank God.”

“Derek, what are you talking about? Stop smiling. Don't you get it? I want everyone to leave me alone!”

“I get it, Meredith, I do. You've been so meek and tolerant you've worried me to death,” Derek kissed her lightly all over her face while she tried to squirm away, “Getting crabby means you're finally really getting well.” then his voice turned strict again, “We'll see what we can all do to stop smothering you, but I swear if you pull a stunt like that again ...”

His threat hung on the air until Meredith cheekily taunted, knowing she could get away with it, “You'll what?”

“I'll delay your release papers from this hospital for three extra days, Miss Smarty,” Derek declared, inspired by her sass, “Now, lie back and let me see if you did any damage to yourself.”

“Derek, Drs. Sloan, Adelmann, Karev and Bailey have already checked me over – twice. Come on!”

“Shut up. Now Dr. Shepherd is going to examine you. You're lucky I don't have you sedated and chained to your bed for the duration.”

“Ah! Derek! Hovering!”

“No, you may consider this payback for leaving the hospital like that. The next time I do it, it will officially be hovering,” he gave her a boyish smile and then proceeded to professionally examine her, ignoring all further protests.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:52:26 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 52: Busted

“Oh no you didn't! I am not looking at my patient who was beaten and stabbed to a bloody pulp just days ago walking around in a bar! My patient who is also a doctor, no less. One whose intelligence I'm totally questioning right now, by the way,” Mark exclaimed as he marched over to her.

Meredith had frozen at the first sound of her name, knowing she was totally busted. Crap! She frantically tried to think of something to say and drew a blank. The next instant Mark was looming over her, breathing fire.

“It's okay Mark, I signed an AMA form before I left,” Meredith said inanely, more than a little intimidated by the man standing over her in a towering rage.

“What the hell?! Yeah, that's going to make everything alright. AMA means 'against medical advice', dummy,” Mark growled, even as he grasped her elbow and guided her to sit down at a table, “It doesn't mean 'asinine moronic activities'. This is stupid even for a first year intern!”

“Mark! Stop yelling at her. She pale and sweaty, not to mention short of breath,” Siobhan said, “She must be in tons of pain.”

“Good! Damn it!”

“Meredith? Meredith?!” called a new voice.

Everyone turned to look at Alex Karev framed in the doorway.

“Crap,” said Mer under her breath.

“Karev, lose something?” asked Mark sarcastically, switching targets, “How the hell do you let a patient get so far off your watch?!”

“It wasn't his fault,” Meredith tried, “I waited until you were both with those burn victims.”

Mark glared angrily at both of them while Meredith fought to her feet.

“My cab will be here any minute,” Meredith said as defiantly as she could, “I'm going home.”

The cacophony of denials from all three nearly deafened her. It was Siobhan who won out.

“Meredith, you are still way too fragile to be on your own, you must know that, so what is really going on?”

Tears of frustration sprang weakly to Meredith's eyes. She shook her head mutely, admitting defeatedly to herself that Siobhan was right. She was dizzy, sick to her stomach, and in pain. Her happy plan of Joe's, then home, just wasn't going to happen. She was going to be put right back in the hospital, she knew it. She plopped back in her chair and slumped.

Mark watched the light drain out of her and said in a much softer voice, “Meredith, what's really going on?”

“I want to go home,” Meredith wailed forlornly and rubbed her aching head, “I want to sleep in my own bed.”

“Doll, you aren't well enough yet, you know that,” Mark murmured to her and sank down on his haunches in front of her, “You're making great progress, but you're still recovering. What are you running away from?”

“All the family,” said Alex bluntly, “I wondered when it would all get too much for you.”

Meredith hung her head in shame.

“Genie Eyes, it's called asking people to give you a little space, not running away like this and jeopardizing your health after everything you've been through. Hello, can you say reverting to old patterns? I'm just surprised we didn't catch you with a tequila in your hand,” Alex hammered her.

Meredith glanced up at him reproachfully.

“Meredith, you need to be back in bed now. Let's get you back to your room and then you can tell us exactly what you need from all of us after you've had a nap and some pain meds,” Siobhan said as softly as she ever said anything, since Meredith really did look so pitiful, “Come on now, no more foolishness.”

Mark and Alex helped her up and walked her between them to the parking lot. Mark paid off Meredith's cab and put her in his own car. They rode in silence back to the hospital, everyone thinking his own thoughts. Meredith sighed in frustration and pain. Siobhan wondered how much Meredith had heard. Mark knew Derek would kill him. And Alex closed his eyes in intern exhaustion, cat napping for the few minutes back to the hospital.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:52:18 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 51: Escape continued

Mark and Siobhan entered Joe's bar in the middle of the afternoon when it was completely empty. They exchanged glances and Mark waved Sio to a seat. She chose a comfortable booth and he followed.

“Aw, come on Siobhan. You and I always had a strong connection. You're here, I'm here. It's the perfect opportunity. No one back home will ever know. How come you keep saying 'no'?” there was a jocular, admiring note in his seductive voice.

“Mark, are you really still talking to women like this? Particularly me? I've known you most of my life, fool.

“How come I keep saying 'no'? How about because I'm married?” Siobhan arched a perfectly plucked brow and said dryly, “How about because you see me as just another conquest and couldn't really give two cents about me? How about because you don't really mean it, and are just playing the game out of habit because you don't know how else to relate to a woman? How about because this isn't a good way to treat Derek's sister? How about because I gave you a chance twice before and you ran for the hills?”

“Two chances? What do you mean? Oh, are you still holding Nancy's wedding against me?” Mark said, conveniently ignoring the rest of her pointed questions, “Aw, Sio. No fair. I was young and stupid,” he excused himself with a charming grin and dimples slashing his cheeks.

“No, I was young and stupid. You've always been three going on forty and a complete dog – besides being offhandedly cruel and thoughtless –not to mention sexually immature to the point where all you care about is immediate gratification. I was one of Nancy's bridesmaids and you were the groomsman who was supposed to be my escort and my date. I wouldn't put out, being the good Catholic girl I was, and you dumped me like I was nothing, to go sniff after Nancy's maid of honor. Do you know how humiliating it was to find you two in the waiters' pantry with your pants down?” Siobhan sneered at him.

Joe brought them drinks and got their food order before Siobhan continued, sneering at herself now, “Of course, it didn't help that I had had a humiliating crush on my little brother's best friend since I came home for Christmas my junior year as an undergrad. Me, in love with a boy in high school. My sisters knew about it, of course, even though I did my best to ignore you. Which is why they maneuvered the wedding party the way they did a few years later, and I ended up with all illusions gone and my heart ripped out. What? What's with the shocked look? There has always been a lot of fall out from your rotten behavior, Mark. It's just that you've usually gone merrily on your way leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces.”

“Siobhan, really, I had no idea ...” Mark sounded sincere, but Siobhan didn't trust it.

“Why, Mark?! Why haven't you had any idea what you've done to people, to me, to Derek, along the way? Are you really that selfish and blind? Or are you just stupid?” Siobhan said with her characteristic sarcastic edge, “I know that you were in love with Addison for years. Is that what made you act the way you did? Because that's just wrong. You screwed your best friend's wife. The mess you and Addison made when you had an affair, was the first mess you actually paid heavily for, as far as I can see. You're darn lucky you have so much medical talent to bolster all that charm and those good looks, otherwise you'd be about as interesting as a paper doll.”

Siobhan stopped and peeled the paper off a straw. She carefully swirled her soda with it making the bubbles surface and pop. Then she glanced back up at a dumbstruck Mark, who had been flirting with Sio, as he always had, never expecting to get anywhere, never expecting Siobhan (who could be dark and terrible with others, but never him) to give him a verbal tongue lashing.

“Sio ...”

“Mark, why do you think I approached you five years ago to be the father of my child?” she asked and glanced over her shoulder briefly at a strangled sound behind her in the next booth, then faced Mark again, “That was your second chance with me, by the way.”

o-o-o

Meredith hated gossip with a passion. It was almost a cause with her, having been its victim repeatedly. The last thing she wanted was to be caught in a position where she was eavesdropping on a couple's private conversation, especially Derek's sister and best friend. It was just too distasteful besides being way too much information.

She gathered herself and looked towards the back of the bar to see if there was a way out that way. Maybe she could casually head for the restrooms and then duck behind the bar into the tiny kitchen. Joe had to have a back door there. She'd just keep the blanket over herself and hopefully Mark, who'd be able to see her as she approached the bar, would think that Joe had been feeding a homeless person.

She shifted towards her getaway and suddenly felt very woozy. The conversation kept going behind her as she leaned her head back. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. Meredith extended a shaky hand and sipped at her iced tea, waiting for the dizzy sensation to leave her. Damn it.

o-o-o

“Well,” Mark stumbled, trying to answer Sio, “You were almost forty and hadn't married yet. I just thought you'd decided you couldn't wait anymore for the right guy to come along, so you decided to have the baby first and keep looking for the right guy later. I couldn't do it though. I'm not good father material, like all the men in the Sloan family. You wouldn't have wanted those genes, trust me.”

Mark frowned, thinking the word 'bastard' didn't adequately describe his father, brothers and grandfather.

“Mark, that all sounds good, but I had to admit after you turned me down, that I was still in love with you. By then I knew it would never happen, you're such a jerk, but pathetically, I'd still wanted to have some part of you to hold and love ... totally selfish reason for having a child, I get that now.”

“Siobhan, you were in love with me? But ... you never said anything. You and Keith ...”

“Keith was my best friend, Mark. Still is. He wanted children too, but couldn't have them the straight forward way either, because he's gay. We married before I was inseminated to give him legal rights and legitimize our twins. They have a mother and father who live in separate private areas with common family areas in the same house. We agreed to blend our lives in order to raise our children together. So far it has worked out really well,” Siobhan calmly sat back as Joe delivered food and refreshed their drinks.

Then she looked Mark in the eye, “So, Mark, I've spoken with Meredith; I know how much you want to repair your friendship with Derek. So grow up! There's no other way. Derek has had to grow up at last, and if you want to keep pace with him you'll have to learn from your mistakes and make some changes! You're thirty nine years old for God's sake!”

Mark stared at Sio. He felt like he was seeing the woman he'd known since they were both kids, for the first time. What the ... ? Siobhan had said she'd loved him her whole life. Really? Sure, she'd asked him to consider being her sperm donor, but he hadn't taken her seriously. Then the next thing he knew she was married and pregnant with twins. He knew now she'd never been more serious. How had he missed this?

“Siobhan, I know it didn't sound like it but a lot of things have changed with me,” Mark finally said slowly, feeling his way and dropping his habitual seductive routine.

Siobhan looked at him with Derek's and her dad's deep blue eyes, her perfectly made up face skeptical, “Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Addison's mostly out of my system, Sio. I loved her, yeah, but she was always the unobtainable princess in the tower. After she used me the way she did to deliberately hurt Derek, and after we tried to live together for three months, I'm done. Addison turned out to be incredibly high maintenance with a bigger ego than mine and Derek's combined, not to mention that frostbite is a distinct possibility in her bed. Hardly a lover's dream. All those years I spent loving an illusion, not the real woman.”

“So, you've decided you wasted fifteen years mooning after Addie. So?” Siobhan wasn't in the mood to give him an inch.

“Meredith and I are friends ... real friends. I've never been real friends with a woman before. Usually I ... well, you know.”

“Yes, I know.”

“It's different, and it affects me. She's helping me open the door to having Derek as a friend again ... and I've been teaching ... it turns out I like it sometimes. Who knew? And I've been working on reorganizing Plastics. The old guy who ran it before me was very out of date in his equipment and his methods. It's been kind of kewl ... challenging, you know?”

Siobhan sipped her drink and said nothing as she considered him.

“Most of all, I'm living out here in the God cursed rain and gloom because I want a second chance with my friend. You're right, I've been so selfish my whole life, I'd never have done this before. It's been weird,” Mark looked a little shame faced at his admission.

He was watching a small person, wrapped in a blanket, crouched over, and hobbling painfully to get behind the bar. Where had she come from? Then he noticed intern blue scrubs on her legs. What? ... Who? ... The woman twisted sideways a little to maneuver and Mark caught the side of her face.

“Meredith? ... Meredith?!”

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 07:10:54 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 51: Escape

Meredith stealthily escaped down the hall, painstakingly dressed in a lab coat over intern scrubs and holding a clipboard in front of her face. She went as fast as she could, but she thought an octogenarian with a walker could still out pace her. The bruises on her hips, thighs and back were still making it difficult to walk, so she crouched over a little to ease the strain. She brushed her hair off her face, with her good hand, in frustration and made for the back service elevators with her crabbed walk. She didn't dare use one of the main ones, where she'd surely be caught -- and that just couldn't happen.

She'd had it. She was desperate. She'd been alone the majority of her life, and now here she was in the middle of a crowd for days. She couldn't breathe! If one more person asked her how she felt, she was afraid she'd bite his head off à la Ellis Grey.

And that would be a shame, right? she asked herself guiltily while sneaking painfully down the hall, I've wanted family my whole life and now that I have them, they're driving me crazy!

The interns popped in at all hours, morning, noon and night, to check on her and hang out. They usually ended up eating and bitching in her room and, lord, she hadn't realized how much everyone ate and bitched. Derek hovered – constantly. Just this morning he threw a hissy on her for getting Izzie to help her wash her hair. Izzie stepped in and deflected the brunt of the heat, thank goodness. Derek repeatedly got crabby with the interns and threw them out like she was a china doll, for heavens sake.

Derek's mom kept tucking her in like she was three and touching her. Maeve patted Meredith's hand, stroked her arm, and fingered her hair, as if Mer were one of her own daughters. All it did for Meredith was make her increasingly anxious. She fought not to cringe from her touch, because she didn't want to offend any of the Shepherds, including Derek, but she just wasn't accustomed to the casual intimacy. Siobhan had better boundaries than her mom, but she had a hard, sarcastic edge to her that Meredith neither liked, nor trusted. She also had Derek's face and smile in feminine form and that freaked Meredith out a little.

Guiseppe gently questioned her about their time together in Italy with Zachary hanging on every word, inadvertently exhausting Meredith as she spoke in two languages, filling in years of blanks for both of them and helping Zachary with the new language. Zach was picking up Italian faster than Meredith had. Derek hovered and dismissed them as well. It was driving Meredith up the wall.

Ellis Grey had come through the surgery fine and now Meredith could look forward to another five to fifteen years of watching Alzheimer's eat Ellis' brain. In the few quiet, reflective moments she had, that thought tormented her. Ellis' selfishness and cruelty, the day of the attack, were forever mixed up with the rapist's brutality and insanity. The horrible physical attack simply mirrored the terrible emotional abuse for Meredith. She was aware that most people wouldn't understand that the trauma from her mother equaled that of the rapist so she said nothing, as was her habit. It was just that the Ellis event was merely the tip of the huge twenty seven year ice burg as far as Meredith was concerned, and that certainly equaled the attack.

She dreaded the idea of facing the rapist/murderer later in court, as well as the idea of facing her mother from this point forward. The grinding feeling in her gut was exactly the same for both thoughts. How was she possibly going to do either of those things?

So far, because of Guiseppe, Mr. Sandage and Maeve, she had not had to do anything for her mother. She hadn't even seen her since that terrible day. Both Mr. Sandage and Maeve had filled Guiseppe in on what they knew of the events between Ellis and Meredith prior to the attack, so the three were in full protective mode and had taken over the care of Ellis. Maeve had even taken it on herself to keep Ellis company several hours a day so Meredith and Derek didn't feel obligated to see to her themselves. Ellis was well enough now to be taken back to Roseridge late this afternoon, so some of Meredith's constant tension over her eased.

The news that Ellis was able to leave the hospital was what sparked her own minor rebellion. If Ellis could leave, why couldn't she? She was rebellious but not foolish. Meredith carefully waited until the time was right.

Derek was in surgery with Izzie, thank heavens, while Mark and Alex were busy with two very badly burned victims of a house fire. George was in surgery with Bailey. Cristina was still at home, at Burke's insistence, although she'd called several times and commiserated with Meredith over missing all the kewl surgeries. Guiseppe and Zachary were visiting Ellis before they went for a late lunch.

Mom (as Mrs. Shepherd insisted Meredith call her, she still wasn't used to that) and Siobhan had been busy since early morning shopping for the furnishings Derek and Meredith had picked out in magazines and on-line for Derek's guest cabin. They all, including Derek, thought Meredith needed a real home, ready and waiting for her at the lake, when Adelmann and Sloan released her. Meredith just thought it was a good plan to keep them occupied.

Meredith made it to the service elevator and sighed in great relief. She knew that making it off the floor without being busted was half the battle. She had to get out of here. When the doors opened on the lobby level, Meredith peeped out in both directions to see if the coast was clear before she ventured, rather unsteadily, across the vast expanse to the outer doors. She made it through and paused to sit for a moment. She was panting from just that much, for heaven's sake. Everything hurt but it was worth it to get out. Her cab should be here any minute so she was almost free. She could enjoy being outside while she waited, she thought, she'd been cooped up way too long.

Meredith enjoyed soaking up the sun's weak rays but couldn't help the frisson of unease up her spine as she looked across the parking lot. Even in the watery sunshine of daylight, the parking lot seemed very dangerous and dark. There were literally hundreds of places for someone to hide. She shifted uncomfortably as her disquiet grew. She stared fearfully at everyone coming and going, twisting her hands in her lap. She thought about waiting for her cab inside but convinced herself she was being silly. Even so, Meredith couldn't calm the hyper vigilant guarded stance she'd unconsciously adopted.

A yellow cab pulled up and Meredith leaped for it. Well, that is to say, she hobbled over to it with alacrity. The driver asked 'where to?' and grimaced when she mentioned a place across the street. Then he took a long look at her bruised face and listing body and understood the need for a two block ride. Meredith gave him a hefty tip for his troubles, asked him to return in an hour, and made a beeline into Joe's. She heaved a huge sigh of relief when the doors swished shut behind her. She'd made it.

The softly lit interior and familiar aroma of fresh popped popcorn were balms to her claustrophobic nervous spirits. She slowly made her way to a tucked away, nearly hidden booth in the empty bar. The bar stool she'd normally go for didn't have the cushioned seats or back support she needed now. Mer edged off her tennies with her toe and propped her feet on the seat across from her, settling back in the booth until she was as comfortable as possible. She actually felt somewhat normal. It was a miracle.

Joe came out from the back storage room and bustled to take care of his off hours customer.

“Dr. Grey? What the ...? What the heck are you doing here? I heard about what happened to you. Your head ... you almost died. There is no way you should be out of the hospital yet,” Joe was unusually loquacious in his upset over seeing a battered and bruised Meredith Grey listing at his table.

How could Shepherd have let Grey out of the hospital so soon? Her head couldn't have healed enough. What were those eggheads thinking?

“Joe, please, I needed away from there. I needed to be alone and normal. You remember how it was when you had surgery, right? Okay?” Joe almost drowned in Meredith's pleading liquid eyes, one surrounded by yellowing bruises.

“Oh ... yeah, okay, I guess. What can I get you?” he totally couldn't do anything but give in to her pleading.

“Iced tea and the mixed appetizer plate, and Joe?” she called as he turned away, “I'm a little cold. Do you think I could borrow a jacket or something?”

“I'll be right back.”

Joe hustled upstairs to his living quarters and grabbed two blankets, thinking that if Dr. Grey admitted that she needed something then she must be in dire straits. Then he paused. Maybe he should give someone a call. Hm. He knew from the jungle drums that Karev was Grey's intern so he quickly called him and tattled a message that Meredith was safe in the bar. Maybe someone might want to come get her?

“Here, Meredith, there's no one else here. Go ahead and bundle up.”

Joe covered her feet and legs with one blanket and handed her the other. Then he switched on the TV and handed her the remote. Meredith draped the second blanket gratefully around herself and surfed channels until she came up with a fashion reality show. Designers competed every week in different fashion challenges, eliminated one by one until there were three that got to make a collection for New York's fashion week. It was as opposite to the hospital or recovering from a life threatening attack as she could get. She loved fashion and seldom had a chance to indulge herself anymore in that or in television. Besides, it was girlie, and she needed girlie.

Joe grimaced at her choice, but poured her iced tea and delivered it to her table without comment. Meredith half watched the show and half thought about the escalating fear she'd experienced in the parking lot. That was bad. She was going to have to get over that as soon as possible if she planned on working at Seattle Grace again, or anywhere else that required parking for that matter. Joe placed a huge plate of every appetizer he sold in front of Meredith. Her jaded taste buds woke up at the luscious aroma of tons of forbidden calories. Amused at the runway show the designers were putting on, on the set, she nibbled at the food in front of her. Gradually, minute by minute, Meredith regained herself.

Yes, she'd always wanted and needed family. It had been a driving force in her life for years, but now she was so accustomed to alone time that she required a lot of it as well. As her peace increased, her relaxation increased, and her left over parking lot anxiety disappeared.

What a mess, she thought, smiling wryly to herself, I'm a learned loner who wants family. Deal, Meredith.

The doors swished open and shut. Meredith could hear a man and a woman casually chatting together as they approached. As they drew closer, Meredith stiffened. She recognized the distinct sound of New York in both voices. The couple were sitting in the booth directly behind her. She could clearly hear every word they said through the lattice partition.

At least they haven't seen me, she told herself.

But now she was in a real quandary. How was she supposed to get out of here without being busted? That question became a minor consideration when she overheard the direction the conversation behind her was going in. She froze and before she could decide that the best thing to do was reveal herself they were already in very personal, embarrassing territory. Meredith was well and truly caught now between a rock and a hard place. She decided to pretend she wasn't there and hope they didn't discover her. Frantically, she waved to Joe, catching his attention and pressing a finger to her lips in a shushing motion, then indicated the pair behind her. She relaxed slightly when he nodded, then tensed again at the conversation.

“Aw, come on Siobhan. You and I always had a strong connection. You're here, I'm here. It's the perfect opportunity. No one back home will ever know. How come you keep saying 'no'?” Mark Sloan said seductively to Derek's married sister, Siobhan.

Fanfiction: Three's a Fantasy

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:45:04 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 50: Alternative Healings continued

“It's time for you to get back to at least one surgery a day, Derek. Both you and Meredith need a little breathing room from each other. Her stepfather and baby brother, let alone your mom and that delicious vixen, Siobhan, are still here, so she won't be alone ever, if she doesn't want to be,” Mark waggled his eyebrows suggestively over Siobhan's name.

Mark's familiar 'guy on the prowl' expression set off every bell and whistle in Derek's head.

“Hey! Watch it! Sio is my sister. And she's married. With two kids! Twins! You ... haven't already ...,” Derek stumbled to a halt since he had no intention of actually putting that awful thought into words, “Damn it, man, she's like your sister too.”

“Whoa, easy on the judgment there. No, I haven't already ... anything ... with Siobhan, and no, I don't think of her as a sister ... never have. And it is perfectly fine with me that she's related to you. I like you and your whole family, remember?” Mark smoothly smiled, ignoring all the talk of Sio being married with kids just to get Derek's goat, but there was an unusual, serious tone in his voice when he spoke of Siobhan that bothered Derek even more, “And speaking of that same luscious lady, there she is now.”

Mark left Derek to gape after him as he casually intercepted Siobhan and Maeve with kisses for both and his most charming grin. Siobhan ignored Mark, as she always had, but when his back was turned, Derek caught a look on her face that floored him. His usually sardonic, hard bitten sister was smitten with Mark Sloan. God help her.

For not the first time he wondered about her living arrangements with Keith, her husband of three years. Was she living the way she did with him because of Mark? Was that possible? Wow. Siobhan was intensely private and never spoke of her relationship with Keith, to her family.

The sister who most physically resembled Derek, with gorgeous thick black curls and midnight blue eyes and a smile to light the night, was very like him in this too. He'd never wanted to discuss Addison or his marriage to her with his family either. Derek sighed and shrugged. Siobhan, of all his sisters was tough, and could definitely take care of herself. It wasn't his business and he already had more than enough on his plate with Meredith still so fragile and still on a psychological and emotional seesaw.

Derek walked after Mark in time to hear him shamelessly flirting with Sio.

“Yeah, big guy. As if I haven't heard you say that to a hundred other girls,” Siobhan dryly deflected Mark's blandishment, but a belatedly hyper-observant Derek saw the flash of longing in her eyes, “Go examine Meredith. We all want to know how she is.”

Derek paused and watched Mark enter Meredith's room. He couldn't believe he'd been so selfishly blind for so many years that he hadn't known how the sister, who'd once been so close to him, felt. He hadn't known what was going on in his own marriage either in that same time frame. God, he'd been a self-centered jerk in New York.

Derek resolved once again to wake up and be present in his life for more than work. And he supposed he should also say for more than Meredith too. She'd asked him over and over to renew his closeness with his family and Mark. She'd told him that she thought he needed them and now he saw she'd been right. His pretty girl was so smart and generous. Having his family and Mark close enhanced both his work and his relationship with Meredith. It didn't take away from them. He walked forward and put his arm around his sister.

“Siobhan, thank you.”

“You're welcome,” Sio didn't bat an eye, “What for?”

“For visiting me a few months ago and not taking 'no' for an answer. For helping to reconcile me with the family again. For making good on your promise to get to know Meredith as much as possible over email and the phone. For accepting her. For coming here a few days ago when I was going out of my mind and just being there when I needed you. I love you,” Derek hugged his surprised sister, “and I'm sorry I've been a selfish bastard to you and the other girls.”

“I love you too, Derek. You're my favorite brother,” Siobhan smiled her 'day is dawning' smile.

“I'm your only brother,” Derek answered ruefully, smiling the same smile that had once belonged to their dad, “Let's go see my girl.”

He started into Mer's room feeling as if he hadn't seen her in days when in reality it was only minutes. He idly wondered if he'd ever really get over what had happened or if he'd ever feel comfortable leaving her alone again. He was definitely a hundred percent more protective.

Derek sighed and thought, one day at a time, that's all we can do.

“Derek, wait a minute,” said Siobhan, “I want you to know that I totally welcome Meredith now. So does Mom. She's horribly embarrassed over how she treated Meredith at first. In fact, she was so upset over the news that Meredith had been attacked that she woke up her priest and prayed with him through the night, for you and Meredith, until we had to leave for the airport. We're both starting to love her. You're perfect together and I'm so glad you're happy. So, okay?”

Siobhan waited to see if Derek had really forgiven her for being opposed to Meredith in his life at first.

“Thanks, Sio, okay,” Derek hesitated and then said, “Siobhan, I know this is none of my business and I am not pressing you to talk, but I have to say it... I know that even though you and Keith have the twins, and you come to all the family gatherings together, smiling, you and he are sleeping in separate beds in separate parts of that big old house you bought. No, don't ask me; how I found out isn't important. But if your marriage isn't right, or if you're in love with another person,” Derek swallowed painfully, “and you need someone to talk to; someone to be on your side, I'm here for you. God knows you won't find a more sympathetic ear elsewhere! I really do want to be there for you, Sio.”

Siobhan simply stared at him, her cool, beautifully made up face marked with a mixture of emotions, chief among them, embarrassment and gratitude.

“Thank you, Derek, I'll think about it.”

Arm in arm, brother and sister went in to see Meredith.

LiveJournal, I have one word for you!! Grrrrrrrr! Okay, not really a word!

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 05:22:20 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 50: Alternative Healings

Derek cornered Mark a few days later. He wanted to know what Mark thought about Meredith's healing and what kind of scars she'd have. He was concerned that the two shallow cuts at the top of each of her breasts were bothering Meredith so much. They were almost the least of her injuries but somehow Meredith had fixated on them. She'd been very lucky that her shirt pockets had been loaded with equipment that had mitigated her attackers blows. Otherwise she'd have the same terrible injuries to her breasts that the other victims had.

Mark turned to Derek unsurprised now at being accosted. The man that refused to talk to him at one point sought him out twice a day now ... yeah it was about Meredith, but hey, Mark would take what he could get. He could feel them growing closer again. He'd actually made Derek laugh the other day. He'd surprised him with a snarky, oh so true, comment about Bailey.

“Derek, I told you, I did my absolute best work on your girl, I promise. No one could have minimized the damage as much as me, you know that,” Mark said arrogantly and then grinned cheekily as he bragged, “I'm the best there is on either coast.”

Derek rolled his eyes and snorted, “Yeah, right. You're a legend in your own mind.”

“Always have been, buddy, okay, one of the best on either coast, how's that?” Mark replied easily, “But seriously, Derek, your little daisy is going to be fine. I'd be more concerned over the psychological trauma and shoulder muscle damage than the rest. But even the psychological stuff seems to be easing. Look.”

Mark pointed across the main station floor area and waiting rooms to the sight that had the night nurses tittering. Derek and Mark had each insisted to Dr. Bailey that Dr. Karev stay on as Meredith's intern. She liked him best of all the able bodied interns they had and for some reason he was able to get her to do things the others couldn't. The two of them shared a special bond and Alex used it shamefully to get his way with Mer for her own good.

Mark grinned and Derek's mouth dropped open. Alex had coaxed Meredith out of bed and on her feet. But, instead of walking, as prescribed, Alex was coaxing Meredith to dance with him. They shared an ipod, each with an earbud in an ear, wires stretched between them. Alex led Meredith in a very slow two step to the music only he and Meredith could hear. Derek couldn't believe it. Even walking was still very painful to Meredith, but she had to move. It was agonizing for everybody (most of all her, of course) to make Meredith move up and down the hallway. Now here she was dancing with a tiny smile turning up the corners of her lips!

“See Meredith, first you tortured me with all those dance lessons and now I get to torture you. Yeah, karma rocks. It's the all purpose answer,” Alex teased as he gently, slowly guided her.

Meredith's body was still very bruised and she was nowhere near healed, but Alex made everything lighter and happier for her. Somehow taking careful steps to music was easier than taking painstaking steps down the hall.

“What the hell does he think he's doing?” Derek frowned, his fangs springing out in defense of his lamb.

He started forward to put an end to such foolishness, when Mark grabbed his elbow, “Wait, Derek. Look at her.”

George with Callie, and Tolliver with Olivia, had joined the hit parade and were waltzing awkwardly around Meredith and Alex, mugging every step. Meredith gurgled with laughter. Even though that made her grimace with pain, she couldn't help smiling again. Derek's heart melted at the sight. She was so brave and sweet, and that made him love her all the more.

“What a lovely gown you have, milady ... Vera Wang?” Alex asked in a snobby voice.

“No, unfortunately, it's early American bathrobe, though I can understand your confusion, it's a lovely bathrobe,” answered Mer in an equally snobby tone, ignoring the pain in her side.

Mark snickered at Derek's face as Karev gave Meredith a slow twirl, “Take it easy, Mama Hen. Laughter and fun are good medicine for her right now. Karev is being careful with her,” he nudged Derek teasingly when, as if on cue, Karev guided Meredith back to a wheelchair.

Derek kept frowning anxiously until the little impromptu party broke up and Karev wheeled Meredith back to her room.

“God, Mark, I'm a mess,” he sadly admitted in defeat, aching to get back to Meredith, “I've turned into a total Mama Hen, it's true.”

Derek plopped down on a plastic waiting room chair and sighed, not noticing that he was treating Mark like the brother he'd always been, but Mark noticed, and smirked.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:22:32 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 49: Visitors continued

Derek sat in the chair next to the bed and rested his dark head against Mer's arm. He gently traced his finger tips over her hand. The silence grew between them, peaceful and quiet. They were together, without worry, at last. Meredith carefully shifted until she slid down the bed and lay on her side, face to face with Derek. His beautiful smile dawned slowly over his face and he touched the tip of his crooked nose to her perfectly straight nose, before he tilted his head and kissed her gently on her pink lips.

“You need to sleep, pretty girl,” Derek murmured against her lips, “That was a little too much company for you, even though we needed them. I'll bet your headache has gotten worse again, hasn't it?”

“Yes, the headache is awful, and I'm really tired, even though I slept all morning,” Meredith reluctantly admitted, weakly lifting a hand to stroke his face, “but ... have you noticed? We're alone finally ... with my black eye and a million sutures ... yay.”

A gentle smile spread over Derek's face when Meredith stroked her hand through his curls, the same way she'd stroked Zachary's. She rubbed the silken hair between her fingers enjoying the texture. The thumping in her head calmed and receded slightly, soothed by the peace of the moment.

“Derek ...?”

“Hm?” he asked.

Meredith hesitated, but she'd wanted to say it since she saw her body in the mirror, so she gathered courage and whispered slowly, “Derek, I ... I look so awful. Are you ... will you ... love me ...? What if Mark's wrong and I'm scarred – ugly... there were too many sutures ... what if ...”

Her voice was shaky and uncertain as her fears bubbled up and found a confused voice.

“Meredith, sh,” Derek hushed her gently while he toyed with the ends of her hair, “You're alive! Your pretty green eyes are telling me you love me right through that black eye. I've never seen anything more beautiful.”

“But, Derek ...”

“No, Meredith. No but. There's been a few times since you were hurt that I've been a complete fool ... I admit it. But this time, honey, you're being the dummy. Don't even go there,” pain flashed across Derek's face as he tried to reassure his girl, “I love you so much and you and I ... we're beyond lucky that we're still together.”

Meredith's face cleared and softened, “We are, and what did you mean you were foolish? You've been wonderful.”

“Yeah ... wonderfully idiotic. It ... bothered me that Karev had medical power of attorney instead of me. It felt like you pushed me away. You were desperately hurt and I couldn't do anything for you, and that came on top of finding out a rapist had attacked you and we couldn't find you. Meredith, I needed to take care of you and I couldn't. I just hated that. I'm too used to being in control. Also, I had to find out you needed me from a ten year old calling from Italy!” by the time Derek got to the last sentence the last of his indignation and hurt feelings were in his voice, even though he tried to keep them out.

The light dawned for Meredith. She lifted her head a little and stared at him, “Oh, Derek, don't tell me you got broody and pouted? Honey! I don't even remember calling Zach. I think I was on automatic pilot or something. And as for Alex, I had him sign those papers for me after the bomb in the body cavity. You and I weren't even together then. I wasn't rejecting you, it was just done before you came back. That's all,” Meredith shifted and waved her hand in a dismissive gesture.

“Hey, I don't brood and pout ... well, okay ... maybe I brooded and pouted,” Derek admitted reluctantly, “Mr. Sandage helped me see sense. There you were, just out of the Pit, and I was ... oh, never mind. I was infantile. Sometimes I think I spent so much time becoming a good neurosurgeon, I forgot to become a good adult,” Derek grimaced, feeling really ashamed, “I still have an unruly twelve year old inside that I have to deal with at the most inopportune moments. I'm sorry, honey.”

Meredith actually gave a tiny, soft giggle, enjoying his discomfort, the brat, “So, I'm really glad I'm not the only one,” she said softly, subtly laughing at the pair of them, “While your twelve year old pouted, mine got crazy with low self esteem. At least I couldn't break out the boys and booze, like I used to. And you haven't been pouty with me at all. Maybe we are progressing after all.”

Derek loved her sassy tone. She really was coming back to him, his pretty girl. That horrible pervert hadn't taken her from him on any level.

“Low self esteem over your injuries?”

“That, and my mother. Whew, Derek, she's a horrible person. It has always been difficult to reconcile her brilliance as a surgeon and researcher with her nasty personality, but until that day of lucidity, I never knew she hated me,” Meredith rolled a little, on her side and back and looked at the ceiling, her eyes glistening with hurt.

Derek tugged her hand a little, urging her back on her side, facing him, “I'm so sorry, Meredith. There's definitely something wrong in that woman's soul. She's bent, and all your life you've paid for it. You always compare yourself to her, but I, for one, am eternally grateful that you're nothing like her. In my book she loses to you every time, not the other way around. Compared to you that woman's a coarse, cruel, rude, loveless fool – nothing at all like my love – my beautiful Meredith,” Derek stroked her hair again, “All we can do now is pity her.”

“You're so sweet to call me beautiful, Derek, really, but you may need glasses,” Meredith said teasingly, still not accustomed or comfortable with how he saw her. She knew he really believed what he said. In his eyes she came off favorably compared to her mother. It was a relief to finally admit that her mother hated her. And that hatred said nothing about her, it was all about Ellis. She could give up once and for all trying to please her. She could stop banging her head against that particular brick wall. She could tell her critical inner voice that sounded so much like Ellis to be quiet. She was done trying to please an eternally dissatisfied woman. Meredith's eyes drooped and she sleepily yawned.

Derek's voice was no more than a soft rumble when he kissed her gently and said, “Sleep now, baby. You need to rest. Sleep and get well.”

Derek stood and checked the time and Meredith's chart. He adjusted her medication and Meredith finally let her eyes close, her face miraculously clearing of pain as she dropped to sleep again on a wave of fresh drugs. Derek sighed also, not having realized until that moment how much watching her endure the constant pain had weighed on him. His own face cleared of stress and worry as Meredith quietly slept. They were together. He'd almost lost her, but he hadn't. He placed a weightless hand over her head and thanked his maker for another chance with her.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:40:20 GMT

Dreams of Love

Chapter 49: Visitors

“Zachary!” Meredith exclaimed, sitting up as best she could, “What in the world are you doing here?”

“Zachary, be careful,” warned Derek, catching him when Zach tried to fly into Meredith's open arms, “Meredith needs you to hug her softly, okay?”

He hugged the boy himself, and kissed the top of his head, before letting him go.

“Okay,” Zach acknowledged Derek, and then answered Meredith proudly, “you said 'glumpy' and I came, just like I promised.”

With exaggerated care Zach climbed onto the tall hospital bed and hugged Meredith, patting her good shoulder, then asked with typical male interest in warfare, “Where are you hurt, Meredith, besides your eye? Izzie wouldn't say, only that you'd been attacked by a man in the parking lot. Did he try to rob you? Did he have a gun?”

Meredith held her brother's precious little boy body to her and buried her face in his black curls. He smelled wonderful – young and warm and boy – just like he should. Zachary's presence was another balm to her bruised spirit. She found herself rocking back and forth a little, holding him tighter and tighter. Tears sprang from behind her tired eyeballs to trickle down her bruised face even though there was far too many people in the room for her to be easy crying. The room grew uncomfortably quiet.

“Yes, he tried to rob me, no, he didn't have a gun,” Meredith said softly, thinking of everything that man would have taken from her with a knife in his hand. Meredith tried to assimilate that she'd called for help in an empty parking lot and had been heard and more than answered by everyone. Izzie had chattered that Derek had actually left in the middle of surgery to help look for her. Still hugging Zachary, Meredith smiled gratefully at her boyfriend, and spoke to both of them.

“I said 'glumpy'? ... And you came ... all the way from Italy ... you came ... and you left surgery, Derek.”

“Yes, don't you remember?” Zach pulled back to look into his sister's face, “I told Papà and Derek and Izzie you said 'glumpy' and they saved you, because I couldn't get here fast enough to save you myself.”

“No,” Meredith smiled through her tears, unable to stop gently stroking his hair and the side of his face, “I don't remember. Wow, Zachary, if you told all those people I needed help, you did save me, didn't you? Thank you for my life. Thank you all for my life.”

“I just did what we practiced,” Zachary preened as Meredith rubbed her hand through his curls, “You and me practiced on our cell phones for hours, remember?” Zach exaggerated, “We programmed our phones and then we practiced pushing the two buttons and saying 'glumpy' to each other. And it worked. You got hurt and you said 'glumpy'. See?”

“Yes, yes, I see now. The man hit me on the head, Zach, and then I passed out for a while. I don't remember that part very well,” said Meredith, reaching instinctively for Derek's hand.

“Yes, I see now too,” Derek murmured and leaned over to gently kiss her, embarrassed anew by his previous assumptions and behavior.

Meredith glanced up at him unsure what he meant. Derek smiled at her reassuringly, and inwardly chided himself. Meredith had been fighting for her life. She'd almost died from that blow to the head but she'd said an emergency word into her cell phone anyway. She'd saved herself and Izzie and Cristina. And he'd pouted because she'd called a little boy instead of him. Her brain was already damaged and she must have been petrified with fear. Thank God some part of her remembered to push buttons and say a silly word when she was hurt. Derek let it go finally. It wasn't about him. He sighed in relief and release and squeezed Meredith's hand.

Zach had climbed off the bed (while Meredith bit her lip to stop from crying out at the jostling and laid her head back against her pillows tiredly) to hug Izzie and wave bye to Alex and George who headed back to work. Izzie was introducing Zachary to the Shepherds when Guiseppe Giordano arrived in the door accompanied by Mr. Sandage.

“Guiseppe, thank you so much for coming, and bringing Zachary,” Derek's tight grip on Dr. Giordano's hand conveyed more to Guiseppe than Derek intended, “Meredith needs her family.”

Guiseppe used the handshake to pull Derek into his arms to give him a bracing hug, “We're here for both of you, of course we came.”

Guiseppe used a cane to make his way across the room to Meredith to gently clasp her hand and kiss her on both cheeks and murmur, “Meredith, I am so happy to see you doing so well, bambina. Our prayers were answered.”

“ Papà, you flew all this way in such a short time? That must have been very difficult for you. You shouldn't have,” Meredith protested tiredly, clutching his hands and trying to rally herself, amazed anew to see Guiseppe.

“My daughter needed me, Meredith, where am I supposed to be? Besides, this time the corporate jet was available so the travel was much easier, bambina,” said Guiseppe.

Mr. Sandage smiled and murmured a few words of greeting to Meredith before he said, “Meredith, Dr. Grey is still scheduled for surgery in about an hour. With your permission Dr. Giordano, and Zachary and I will go sit with her and talk to Dr. Burke about the procedure. Unless you want to postpone it?”

“No ...,” Meredith hesitated, and then unconsciously filled Derek's need to be needed by his woman by asking, “Derek, what do you think?”

Derek touched her reassuringly while he considered and said, “Let her have it now, Meredith. She needs the work and you're going to be healing for several weeks, pretty girl, so delaying the surgery until tomorrow won't change much. Besides, today you have Guiseppe and Mr. Sandage to help with your mom.”

“Okay, I'd really appreciate it if you'd sit with her, Papà. Thank you, Mr. Sandage. I ... I'm just not up to seeing her right now,” admitted Meredith painfully.

Guiseppe gave Meredith one of his all encompassing looks and felt his heart go out to her. She was at the end of her strength, exhausted and frail and in pain. She'd never had it easy, this child of his heart. Even now, with Derek, when she should be carefree and joyous, falling in love forever, she still had to deal with the realities of her heavy responsibilities, personally and professionally. Guiseppe gathered Meredith to him and told her in Italian that he was here for her now and it was time to rest without worry. He kissed her cheek again and then straightened and stepped back to let Mr. Sandage touch Meredith's hand and take his leave. Then Mr. Sandage was out the door, urging the Shepherds and the Giordanos to go with him. He introduced them all to each other there and they all trooped off to attend Ellis Grey or to head back to hotel rooms.

As the room emptied out, Meredith sighed and laid her head back, completely overwhelmed by all the fuss and company. She was exhausted, yet in too much pain to sleep again. Her head thumped unpleasantly and she fretfully tugged at her pillow. It was hot and lumpy. Her mind raced with dozens of thoughts.

“Yang, we've got a private room ready for you,” said Dr. Karev returning with Tyler, “You and Meredith will both rest more easily alone. Dr. Burke said he'll be in to see you in about an hour, and Dr. Sloan said he wanted to examine both of you again before he left for the day. It looks like he'll let you out by tomorrow.”

Cristina, who was also in pain and overwhelmed by all the visitors too, allowed herself to be moved to the new room without protest.

“I'll check in tomorrow, before I leave the hospital, Mer, okay?” she said as she left, pushed bed and all from one room to the next by Tyler and Alex.

Meredith waved a weak hand in acknowledgment, not bothering to open her eyes. Izzie changed Meredith's hot pillows for cool ones with fresh pillow cases and tucked more pillows around her body to make her more comfortable.

“I'm headed home with this head, Meredith. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Meredith stirred herself enough to say, “Thanks, Iz,” and then Derek and Meredith were alone for the first time since the attack.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 03:45:22 GMT

I disclaim Grey's Anatomy. Who'd want that f'd up mess?

Dreams of Love

Ch. 48 part 2

Meredith shifted her slight weight gingerly from one hip to the other, watching the low sky spit trickles and droplets of rain on the only window in her room. She'd slept face down across Derek's chest for the better part of the morning and half the afternoon. She felt better and safer when he held her, even as he dozed, then she did at any other time. Also, it had given her back and thighs and buttocks a much needed break. She was sitting up again now, as Derek went for the drink she'd requested, and those body parts all reminded her just how unhappy they were. She focused on the droplets and ignored the pain. She was good at that. She sighed.

“So... you're not dying, that's good. If you'd gone ahead and died after all the trouble I went to, it would have pissed me off,” Cristina said, awake now and grumpily easing herself upright, while she covered up her massive relief, “You still look like hell.”

“Thanks, so do you,” Meredith volleyed back, turning to look at her out of her good eye.

It felt good to do something normal again, like be insulted by her best friend. Their normal, semi-bitter banter served to run off some of the lingering trauma and fear of the night. It didn't matter that it wouldn't be understood by a lot of people, it was how their relationship worked. If they could snark all dark and twisty over it, it made what happened less terrible, and easier to handle.

“Yeah, well, at least I don't have a black eye,” Cristina used her backhand slice to show her affection.

“You cheated. You had your helmet on. That's the only reason you don't have a black eye,” Meredith declared sturdily.

“Izzie didn't have a helmet, and she doesn't have a black eye,” Cristina scored, then added, cocking her head consideringly, as she debated the fine points of fighting a psychotic maniac, “Plus, you had a knife. That's cheating too.”

“Yeah, well, the goose egg on the side of my head isn't a black eye, but it is more than plenty, thank you very much,” interrupted Iz darkly as she gently worked the tangles out of Meredith's hair with spray conditioner and a comb, “You two are just grumpy because you were stabbed, instead of strangled.

“Speaking of which...,” Izzie pulled Meredith's cleaned up knife out of her pocket, “I found this on the ground, Mer... I don't know why I didn't give it to the police. It just seemed like I needed to give it back to you.”

Meredith's breath caught as the visceral memory of clutching her little knife and stabbing at her attacker with all her strength rushed over her. Her earlier bout of self generated Addison/Ellis low self esteem came back to haunt her and she hung her head. She couldn't look her friends in the eye. If she'd been less stupid, more careful, or more effective, they wouldn't have a scratch on them, instead of sitting here with major injuries. The light left Meredith's face leaving her dull and drawn. Her throat closed down until she felt choked. She was better than before, soothed by her prognosis and Derek's steadfast love, but her inner war was still waging because of Ellis. The fight in the parking lot was over, but the fight with all the demons Ellis had raised was still going on, still bolstered by pain and fatigue.

“Whoa!... whatever that was, stop it right now, Mer,” exclaimed Izzie, watching Meredith's face perspicaciously, “You did what you had to do to protect yourself.”

Izzie got that something was wrong, but she didn't quite understand the whole of it. She thought maybe Mer was freaking out over the rapist, himself; the event, itself. She started to set the knife on the bedside table, but Meredith reached for it. Her knife was always a comfort to hold, especially when she was hurt deep inside.

“That's the look she gets around Ellis,” Cristina reminded Izzie of what they'd seen from the nurses' station outside Ellis' room, “evil, lucid Ellis, I mean. Come on, Meredith, what's wrong?”

“I...,” Meredith hesitated, then looked up, her bruised face full of sorrow, “I'm sorry... so sorry.”

“What for?” Izzie was genuinely confused.

“I should have done better ... I should have known ... I should have remembered ... he was so big and I couldn't reach the jugular ... I ... I'm ... sorry ... you're both hurt ... it's all my fault!” Meredith's dark and twisty inner torment poured out in a jumbled mixture of words.

“Meredith, what the heck are you talking about?” asked Izzie incredulously, “I think I can safely say that it wasn't you that strangled me and stabbed Cristina. Hello! Remember the madman?! Or did he hit you so hard you forgot the crazy in the parking lot?”

“Yeah, right, you're the one who's a serial rapist /killer, you're the one who was such a bitch you couldn't say two kind words in a row to your own daughter after five years, you're the one who decided to get drunk on the job instead of surveying the parking lot. Can you hear yourself?” Cristina asked sarcastically, “A big part about not being a victim is knowing what is your responsibility and what isn't. And, Mer, this isn't.”

“I ... I ... his jugular ... Mom would have ... I couldn't ... Addison would have,” Meredith's tongue stumbled over her fears and inadequacies, while her head thumped loudly, and her side just hurt.

“Ellis? Addison? Have you somehow dreamed up a scenario in which one of those two could have done better than you out there? Meredith, Izzie and I both fought that maniac too. We couldn't do better than you, and you'd already cut him and broken his nose, by the time he got to us.”

“Mer, I had your knife in my pocket. I could have stabbed him when he grabbed me around the throat. But, all I could think to do was try to pry his hands off me. Talk about not very effective! If Derek hadn't shown up, I'd be dead and so would Cristina. I just couldn't think straight, Meredith. I did the best I could. We all did the best we could. I know you're really hurt, Meredith, but we all could have died, and we didn't.”

Meredith's hand opened and closed over the hasp of her little knife. She still couldn't look directly at her friends. Cristina and Izzie paused and then turned and looked at each other. Ellis and Addison and the rapist were somehow all mixed together for Meredith. This was too dark and twisty, even for her. It was like meticulously cleaning and suturing and bandaging a patient's wound on the surface of the body, only to find out when you were done about the internal bleeding that was way more serious.

“I should have seen him earlier ... I knew about him ... my poor patients ... but he was there before I ... I should have fought harder, but with all those self-defense classes I dragged Alex to, I still couldn't ... I couldn't stop him ...,” the words dragged painfully.

“So ...,” drawled a voice from the door, “You, a one hundred and ten pound woman was supposed to see a blitz attack in the rain and dark, and battle a one hundred ninety pound man who'd already raped or murdered seven women – and stop him!”

Meredith looked up, startled at Alex' entrance. He walked across the room and took a chair by Yang's bed. He was intern tired.

“Oh, right! I forgot. That's exactly what you did! Who are you – Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You survived, Meredith!! Don't you dare criticize yourself for how you did it. It's a freakin' miracle, Genie Eyes!” Alex shook his head at her.

Meredith's jumbled, dark and twisty, poisonous thoughts – brought out into the light of day, and the light of her friend's incredulous scrutiny – couldn't stand. Ellis Grey's words' hold on her weakened and dissipated the more she said them out loud and heard them repeated. Meredith's sad, sick little girl inside was being heard, understood and answered, for once. Her internal bleeding stopped – again. Meredith trembled as her emotional wounds were salved and bandaged, ready to seal and heal.

“So!” said a loud indignant voice from the door, “Meredith is beaten and cut to shreds, Cristina is stabbed and carried off, Izzie is strangled and banged against a car, everyone almost DIES! and NO ONE! NO ONE CALLS ME?”

“The chicks kicked the rapist's ass without us, baby boy, get used to it,” Karev had had a very long two days. He wasn't in any mood to deal with George's histrionics.

“Not so loud, Bambi, some of us have headaches,” groused Cristina, keeping her voice low, after seeing both Meredith and Izzie wince.

“George, I called you last night looking for Mer, and I called you again last night to tell you what happened,” Izzie asseverated, “But, you couldn't be bothered to answer the phone. You had your wife hang up on me every time. I called you again three times this morning. Let's see,” Izzie peered at her cell and pager, “you never returned my calls. You took yourself out of the loop. So, George, shut up. This isn't about you.”

George gaped at her like a fish on dry land, his mouth opening and closing with no sound emitting. Everyone ignored him. Meredith would have tried to be kind, but her head hurt too much, after his shout. Izzie was right, it wasn't about George.

“O'Malley, step aside,” the Shepherds entered the room carrying food and coffee, “What the hell is going on in here?” Derek demanded in a soft, menacing voice after catching sight of Meredith's pale, sweaty face.

“Derek,” Meredith said in her sweet, musical voice, before anyone else could speak, “Is that my mocha latte? Thank you.”

Meredith pursed her lips for his kiss and then held the warm cup between her palms and sipped, comforted, “Oh, that tastes good. Derek, maybe you can ask the nurse for a couple cold packs for Izzie's and my headaches?”

She was trying to distract Derek, but all he did was possessively pull a chair up beside her and nod to George to get the packs. Mrs. Shepherd and Siobhan handed food and coffee out to Alex and Izzie and Cristina to a chorus of 'thank yous'. Maeve wasn't sure what Cristina could have, but she figured with all these doctors around, someone would object if she wasn't supposed to have something. Derek helped Meredith shift position again and place cold packs on her most painful spots. He knew she'd just take a few more sips of her warm drink before she'd be ready to sleep again.

“What was going on when I got here?” Derek asked pointedly, using his attending voice, looking at Karev and then at O'Malley.

The interns were all looking at each other, trying to come up with something, when a young voice at the door said, “Wow, Meredith, I think you should have said, 'Double Glumpy!'.”

“Zachary!”

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 03:38:50 GMT

I disclaim all ownership of Grey's Anatomy and everything associated with it.

Dreams of Love

Chapter 48: Answers

Derek sat with Maeve, Siobhan and Izzie Stevens in the closest lounge to the MRI center that he could find. His mom had been right. The steaming hot shower, shaving, and fresh clothes helped. He'd washed his hair, but only had the patience to partially dry it, so it tumbled in wild curls across his head and down the back of his neck. He shrugged. At least it was clean.

They still had twenty minutes before Meredith's MRI was complete. Maeve had handed Derek an espresso and a breakfast sandwich, insisting he sit and eat. Then taking a long look at Izzie's throat, as the young woman questioned Derek about Meredith and Cristina's night (getting every detail in typical Izzie fashion), Mrs. Shepherd handed Izzie her cappuccino and another breakfast sandwich. Izzie's gorgeous smile bloomed over her face, making her beautiful again in spite of the fingerprint bruises on her neck and the huge knot on the side of her head.

“Thank you, Mrs. S,” Izzie said gratefully, sipping the coffee and unwrapping the sandwich without wasting a moment.

Maeve bemusedly watched the size 4 model wolf down the sandwich in a few minutes. Ah, she remembered now that interns were always ravenous. She'd had lots of experience with interns having been married to a physician and having raised five of them. She should have brought more food.

Siobhan and Maeve Shepherd exchanged glances several times as Izzie chattered unrestrainedly to Derek about everything she'd found out about the previous night. Izzie had pieced the majority of the story together, even the part about Ellis Grey. With Derek as her teacher and mentor for weeks and weeks, Izzie had been learning discretion and she'd been discouraged from gossip. Now Derek ruthlessly used Izzie to fill him in. He needed to understand what had happened. He needed to know why and how and what and where and who had hurt Meredith. He needed to be able to help her more than he had so far.

Part of him was still trying to understand why Meredith had made the choices she'd made so he could let go of the lingering pain. He'd managed, with Mr. Sandage's help, to be a man. He'd managed to set aside his hurt feelings and disappointment and helplessness, so that he could rise to the occasion and be what was best for himself and Meredith. Now, bit by bit, as he could, he was going to have to process all of it, in as healthy a way as possible. Otherwise, it could fester and create more problems later, since Derek and Meredith planned to have a future together.

Maeve gasped at the reports of what Ellis had said and done. The woman had one day of lucidity in five years and had done what?... She looked down the hall towards the MRI and Meredith, her protective instincts towards her son's choice rising as high as they were for her own daughters. The Mama Tigress inside her that had gotten her in trouble with Meredith the first time they met, rose now in defense of Mer. She wanted to snatch that woman bald-headed! It would have cost Ellis Grey absolutely nothing to have been kind to her daughter, if not loving. What in the world did she have to lose?! Appalled, Maeve's own sharp mind worried at the question.

“Dr. Shepherd, it's almost ready, sir,” Dr. Karev called to Derek.

Derek, Izzie, and Siobhan crowded into the technician's booth behind Karev and Adelmann. Derek felt as if he couldn't draw more than a shallow breath. Worry tightened in a band around his chest and squeezed. He stared at the screen and gritted his teeth. She had to be better, she just had to be. He needed her so much. Helpless longing caused him to clench his fists and wrap his arms across his own aching chest. Everyone's eyes glued to the screen. As the images resolved a soft susurrus filled the room as all the doctors unconsciously exhaled.

“Derek,” asked Maeve's anxious voice from the hallway, “what do you see?”

Derek turned from the monitor and hugged his mom with convulsive strength, bowing his curly dark head over her with a stifled sound.

“Siobhan?” asked Mrs. Shepherd, still not sure what was happening, patting her son's back.

It was Izzie who answered her, “The bleed has stopped Mrs. Shepherd. I think... it looks like it's reducing on it's own, right, Dr. Adelmann?”

“Yes. It looks good,” said Dr. Adelmann in his soft, melodious voice, meticulously going over every image.

Izzie turned to Alex and said softly, just to him, “You did it, Alex... Meredith's going to make it. My God, that was a tough call.”

Alex just heaved a breath and nodded, “Yeah... it was. Move Izzie, I need to get her out of there.”

Meredith was going to make it. Derek felt like he could breathe easily for the first time since Guiseppe had phoned him last night. The horrible, crushing weight of worry he'd carried, seemingly forever, drained and he suddenly felt as limp as a rag doll. He gulped, stepped down the hall away from his mom, and scrubbed at his face, trying to regain his composure. He didn't want Meredith to see how overcome he'd been. She already had to deal with way more than enough of her own pain.

“Dr. Shepherd, Meredith is calling for you,” Izzie announced.

Derek brushed by her and Maeve, rushing to get to Meredith. Karev and the tech had moved her back to the gurney already. She was propped up so her side was as protected as possible. She looked ethereally beautiful to him, even through her bruised and wounded fragility. Exhausted from the tests, Meredith looked carefully into Derek's midnight blue eyes.

Then she held her hand out to him and asked softly, “Derek, please, I need to ask you...,” she paused as he came to her side and delicately traced his love onto her hand with clever fingers as he joyfully kissed her soft, pink lips, “How am I? I was going to wait, but I just.. can't anymore... my head?”

“You're getting well, my love, your head is healing,” Derek spoke gently, his tones shaded with the wealth of his love and relief, “You and I are going to be fine – really fine. I love you so much.”

He wrapped his arms around her as lightly as he could and held her with no pressure. Meredith's inner frightened stiffness relaxed. It was over. The fight in the parking lot was over at last. She was finally safe, back in Derek's arms where she belonged. She exhaled in relief as she lay her unbruised cheek on Derek's shoulder, her lips pressed to his throat, and wrapped her palm around his nape. She was tired, so tired. It was odd that she was as tired from good news as she was from bad, she thought abstractly.

“Dr. Shepherd, I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but we need to get Meredith back to her room,” Dr. Karev said.

“They have another patient waiting, Derek,” Siobhan added.

When Derek and Meredith didn't move, Maeve Shepherd said with a touch of no-nonsense in her voice, “Son, that girl needs to be back in her own bed. You need to take better care of her. Come on now.”

Meredith had to lie back anyway. She'd used up her meager store of energy in her inner emotional release. So Derek willed himself to let her go again. He knew they were all right, but he didn't have to like it.

“Hold my hand, Derek,” Meredith invited, holding out her hand again.

Derek linked his fingers through hers, and smiled his 'day is dawning, all is right with the world' smile at her. His sudden, shining beauty startled everyone but Meredith. Then he walked beside her down the hall, back to her room, so she could rest against him and listen to his steady heartbeat, finding peace in that simple act.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 16:02:02 GMT

I disclaim ownership of Grey's Anatomy and evrything associated with it.

Dreams of Love

The hair was, of course, set off by the masses of purple on black bruises blooming everywhere. Her eye already had tinges of green creeping around the edges. Like ugly, mottled green eyeshadow, she thought stupidly. Meredith swayed dizzily and knew she had to hurry. Her beaten brain was kaleidoscoping with weird thoughts mixed with pain and confusion again.

Less than a second after she turned the water on, Derek was there, holding her up under her arms, his strong body a warm presence behind her. He really couldn't touch her anywhere else. He let her wash her hands and then used a washcloth himself to gently dab at her face. She rinsed her mouth several times and then Derek made her quit before she called for dental floss and a shower. He kissed her unbruised cheek and tugged her towards the door.

“Come on, baby, you need to lie down.”

Meredith couldn't look him in the eye. She was having a really hard time again having Derek see her like this; weak... pitiful... helpless... useless... ugly... ordinary. The emotional bruises and stabs from her mother's brutal attacks were now making themselves felt. She bet his perfectly perfect wife had never once let Derek see her with even one hair out of place, let alone as pitiful or ordinary. Addison had probably never had menstrual cramps, or bad hair days, or disfiguring bruises from an attacker. Addison probably could have maced him in the eyes, or stabbed him in the jugular. Then Cristina and Izzie wouldn't have been hurt. Once again Addison and Ellis merged in her mind and sneered at her. Meredith cringed in shame and depression, her emotions hurting, as her headache intensified and her tiny store of energy flickered.

Sad self-recrimination rose to throttle her next, as her self esteem plunged and she clung to Derek's arm. That awful man, who tried to rape her, still hovered between Derek and herself. She felt so stupid that she hadn't been careful enough after having been given plenty of warning about the rapist. Derek must think she was an idiot. He must think she was pretty useless. Wrapped in fatigue and pain again, Meredith didn't understand that the cutting voice in her head was an echo of her mother's, not Derek's. What had whipped her in the parking lot to get her going, now whipped her to give up, because the voice's job was simply to whip, regardless of consequences. Meredith drooped in exhausted defeat.

“Honey, I know you're really tired, but I ordered another MRI for you. They're bringing a gurney in a minute. I also requested Karev to be the intern for you and Cristina. You'll be more comfortable with him. Do you want O'Malley too?”

Meredith's tired brain struggled to think through her erratic emotions and figure out what was important about what he was saying. She needed to pull herself together again. Derek... what? An MRI? Again? What was wrong? What hadn't they told her?

“George? No... Callie is having a baby. She gets upset when George sees us. No George.”

Tyler and Derek were helping Meredith back across the room when a sardonic voice drawled, “Well, I guess the reports were wrong. Nice to see you up and around, Meredith. Derek, you look like hell.”

“Derek!” exclaimed another, matronly, voice in shock, “What is that girl doing out of bed? Are you out of your mind?”

Meredith froze, horrified. Tyler glanced curiously at the two sharply dressed, perfectly coiffed, Northeastern ladies. Derek looked up in surprise and had two, opposing, equally strong, visceral reactions; oh my God, not now! and oh, thank God!

Meredith had zero extra strength to meet the challenge. She resorted to her old friend, denial.

No, this is not happening to me. I refuse to believe that after the first time of meeting Derek's mother and sisters when I was naked... in bed... with Derek, I am meeting them the second time looking and feeling like an old, beat up patchwork quilt. It's all a trauma induced hallucination.

“Siobhan, Mom, what are you doing here? How did you know?” Derek gently urged Meredith forward again, knowing she urgently needed to lie down.

“Mr. Sandage called me, Derek. We became quite well acquainted on my last visit, if you'll recall,” Maeve Shepherd said as she sternly withheld a shocked exclamation at the sight of Meredith's face as the girl unsteadily turned, “He thought you and Meredith needed us, so we caught the red eye flight. And I can see he was right. Meredith, your poor face!”

Meredith turned her head so she could see Derek through her good eye. Mr. Sandage would not have called for Derek's mom unless... Meredith's thought was interrupted when another nurse brought in the gurney, followed by Alex Karev. Alex quickly read Meredith's chart, catching up on her condition, while Derek and the two nurses did their best to help Meredith onto the gurney without hurting her further – an impossible task. Derek's sister, Siobhan, another doctor, stepped forward to lend a surprisingly gentle and efficient hand as Meredith scooted across the gurney. Derek's mom stepped back, out of the way, her face sympathetic to Meredith's involuntary moans of pain.

Maeve Shepherd watched Derek tenderly try to help his traumatized girlfriend. His face was full of love as he spoke softly to her, and kissed her hand, but Maeve also noticed the terrible strain he was under. It was in the dark circles under his eyes and the deep lines marking his lean cheeks. He was worried to death, and it showed.

Mr. Sandage had explained to Maeve Shepherd that Meredith had been brutalized by a maniac and her life was still in danger. Her children needed Maeve, even if they were adults, Meredith especially, since she didn't have her own mom to help her. Maeve had been talking to Meredith and Derek once a week since her last visit, trying to repair relations with them. She'd rushed out to be with them in case they really did need her. Now Maeve watched Meredith weakly try to reassure Derek even as he worriedly tried to coddle her.

“Don't worry about me, Derek, I'm fine, really,” Meredith said, using the 'fine' word he hated.

She concentrated on trying to hush her moans, so he'd stop worrying. Derek barely brushed a hand helplessly over her back, afraid to really touch her.

Every one of Maeve's motherly instincts went on red alert. Meredith needed fussing and it was her job, in lieu of Meredith's own mother, to make sure she got it. Maeve Shepherd stepped forward to tuck a blanket around Meredith, shooing her son away, murmuring soothingly to the girl her son loved. Meredith shifted uncomfortably at the unfamiliar motherly clucking and tucking. But Maeve really did know, with unerring instinct, just what was hurting Meredith the worst, and positioned her pillows accordingly, trying to make the transport to MRI as easy as possible. Meredith finally found herself actually able to relax with minimal pain for a moment. She sighed in relief, both her emotional and physical pain decreasing. She closed her eyes, her body shutting down, her energy depleted.

Meredith forced her eyes open again, and whispered to Maeve, “Please take care of Derek. Whatever happens... good or bad... help him... I know you will.”

“Of course I will,” declared Maeve, her eyes filling with tears as she realized that Meredith had figured out that she might still die, “And I'll take care of you too.”

Meredith's dry lips formed a 'thank you'. She was suddenly very grateful that Maeve was there. Maeve alleviated some of her anxiety for Derek. Derek hadn't told her... but she knew... she was a doctor after all... she would not be having another MRI... unless something were still seriously wrong with her. His mom and sister would help him... no matter what happened... It was good Derek... had his mom, she thought. Sometimes people... needed their moms. She waved a hand at Cristina, who was wide awake now, from all the fuss, and drifted away in exhaustion.

o-o-o

“Derek,” said Maeve, delaying him, as Alex and an orderly, accompanied by Siobhan, pushed the gurney out the door and down the hall, “Meredith is worried about you. She needs you to go take a shower and get dressed in fresh clothes. And, darling, you need to shave.”

“Mom...,” Derek looked at her incredulously, like she'd just asked him to swim the Bering Strait, “Meredith needs me. What are you talking about?”

He looked after his girl anxiously, then at Cristina turning uncomfortably in her bed, then back at his short, rounded mom. He gestured her into the waiting area across the hall where they could speak without further disturbing Yang.

“Trust me, Derek,” said Maeve, sensibly, “Meredith is asleep now, worn out. She'll be in the MRI chamber for at least forty five minutes, according to your sister. Siobhan and your intern will stay with her the whole time, I promise. So, you, son, have time to get cleaned up for Meredith. It scares her when you won't even take ten minutes for a shower. She's in good hands. Go on now.”

Derek hesitated. His mom was right, the MRI would take a while, even if they were only imaging her kidney and one place in her head. He didn't know it, but his face dropped all guards and professional guises as he stood slumped in the doorway looking after Meredith. Every bit of his love and fear, dread and pain stood out on his face, plain for his mom to read.

“Derek... Derek, don't! Look how well Meredith is doing, after such an awful thing happened. My stars! You're both so lucky,” Maeve held her arms out to her only son and he stepped into them gratefully wrapping his arms around her, and letting her hold him too, “Tell me, what is still so wrong here?!”

“Mom, I love Meredith so much! But, she's so hurt and I can't even touch her. We're still waiting on the brain bleed. I could lose her. This time I could lose her for good,” stress tears tracked his face again, “Mom... she's... been through so much and I... I...,”

Maeve held her son and swayed a little, giving him the feeling he was being rocked. He'd told Meredith once that if anything bad happened to him his family would be there, he'd want them there. And his mom was here, holding him when he needed it. Derek had a family. He'd always had one. After meeting lucid, evil Ellis and bumbling, weak Thatcher, Derek understood once again that Meredith had never had one.

“I want a future with Meredith,” said Derek, his face intent, “I want to make a life with her. The day before Meredith was attacked, we talked about having a baby together within the next few years, making a family of our own.”

Derek choked on his words and he scrubbed at his eyes with a fist. Maeve rubbed his back compassionately.

“Of course you will,” she said, “Where's your faith? Or, do you only have faith in surgery these days? You told me you've been happier since you've been with Meredith than you've been your whole life. You and Meredith are together against all odds and you'll stay together against all odds. I know you will.”

Maeve brushed Derek's curls from his forehead and kissed his prickly cheek, “You and Meredith aren't alone, Derek. Siobhan and I are here with you now. We'll take care of both of you, we'll help you, I promised Meredith. You're hurt and exhausted too. Now, go on. I'll get you a cup of coffee and meet you by the MRI room.”

Maeve's faith and presence bolstered Derek as nothing else could have. He felt better just to be able to talk it out with her. His mom was right. Meredith and he were soul mates. They were meant to be together. He hugged Maeve again, and headed to the attending locker room. He'd clean up and get back to Meredith as soon as possible.

Fanfiction: Dreams of Love

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:54:17 GMT

I disclaim ownership of Grey's Anatomy and evrything associated with it.

Dreams of Love

Chapter 47: Sally

Derek jerked awake when Meredith moaned in pain. Because of the head injury they weren't able to give her the heaviest of pain killers. It broke his heart to see tears trickling down her bruised face in her sleep. He rose from the armchair Tyler had brought him at some point (so he didn't keep disturbing Meredith climbing in and out of her bed) and gently kissed her cheek, trying not to wake her.

He turned on the low light next to the bed and read through Meredith's chart. Then he did his own neurological and basic exam as he had every fifteen minutes since Sloan was through with her. She was holding her own. His almost unbearable tension relaxed slightly and he drew a deep breath, rubbing at the crick in his neck.

He turned to Cristina's chart and read through it. She'd become feverish in the predawn hours in spite of the IV antibiotics. He'd changed her script when her fever spiked. Both girls had been given HART anti-virals to guard against AIDs and HIV infection so Derek was concerned that Cristina was having a poor reaction to that.

Now he noticed her vitals were steadily improving, so he didn't bother to examine her again. He'd already checked on her several times through the pre-dawn hours. It was best for her to sleep now. She'd awakened every time he'd examined her before, but had said very little, for once letting herself be the patient, more for his sake, than for hers. Every time Tyler changed bandages, Shepherd helped. Cristina was stabbed saving Meredith's life and he would never forget that. She could easily have been raped or killed herself. Both women were so petite and physically outclassed by the psycho, Derek shuddered.

“Derek...” Meredith moaned.

“I'm here, honey,” he said, moving next to her bed where she could see him.

“It hurts,” she whimpered, waking from the pain, and unable to turn on any side to ease it.

She just went from one set of bruises and cuts to the next and her head throbbed unrelentingly. The multitude of smaller cuts seemed to hurt as much as the few larger ones. What was up with that?!

“I have to use the bathroom. Will you help me up?” Meredith looked at him pitifully. She had adamantly refused cathaterization earlier.

His first instinct was to say no, she had to use a bedpan, but the bruises on her hips and buttocks and across her low back would make that excruciating. She needed to move a little to stretch out and ease her soreness.

“Okay, let me get a wheelchair, I'll be right back,” he said.

Derek went out to the nurses' station to signal Tyler and get a wheelchair. Then he called to schedule another MRI since she was awake, bumping another patient to a later slot. He didn't care. He was using his rank and privilege to ruthlessly get exactly what he wanted. His worry had not eased through the night and he was afraid to believe in Meredith's improving vital signs. He wanted an updated MRI in his hand as soon as possible.

He'd made Adelmann and an entire neurosurgical team stay on call through the night, ready to perform emergency surgery if Meredith suddenly worsened. He'd also made sure that an OR was kept open and available all night. At the look on his face, Webber, for once, hadn't balked at tying up an OR for no return.

Derek and Tyler supported Meredith on both sides, holding spots on her arms which weren't bruised. She gripped Tyler's hand in her good hand, and biting back moans, inched her way across the mattress until she could stand. She looked at the wheelchair and groaned. Her feet were just fine, but her bottom was a mass of bruises. She just couldn't sit down again. She'd rather walk.

“Let me walk, guys,” she said very softly, glancing at Cristina, who was finally deeply sleeping, “I'll do better than if I have to sit.”

Tyler simply slid his arm under hers and prepared to walk her to the bathroom, but Derek had to bite back his protests. Damn these lacerations and contusions, anyway! He wanted to pick her up, squeeze her close, hug her, coddle her, cuddle her, carry her, gah! He couldn't do any of it.

Once again he fought to trust that Meredith knew what was best for herself. After all, there she was, stoically doing it, with or without his permission. All he got to do was hold her arm as she walked under her own steam into the bathroom. He couldn't even hold her hand since he had the side with her hand in a splint.

Tyler smiled, “Good job, Dr. Grey, you're a champ.”

He positioned her in front of the toilet and made sure her hand was on the safety rail before he let her go.

“You good?” he asked professionally, ready to stay if she needed him.

“Yes, Tyler, thank you. Please, leave, both of you, okay?” Meredith pleaded with Derek with her eyes.

Derek slowly shook his head at her, “Meredith...”

“Derek, please. I know you're worried, but I can do this by myself, really.”

“Alright,” he growled, “but, I'm going to stand just outside the doorway with the door open, Mer. We can't risk you falling. Not now. I really don't like this.”

“Derek,” she said with a flash of whimsical Meredith peeping through the pain, “Tyler can hold your hand, 'kay?”

Tyler hid his smirk behind his clipboard.

“So we're feeling sassy, are we? Call me if you feel dizzy, baby, I mean it,” Derek ordered, actually feeling a little better that she'd given him lip.

Tyler grinned openly this time to hear Dr. Shepherd trying to baby Dr. Grey.

Meredith slowly lowered herself to the toilet and cringed in pain, seeing stars, as her bruised body had to take her weight. She just didn't have the strength to hover. She gasped silently, panting through an open mouth, and waited until her vision cleared. What Derek didn't understand was that being able to do something so normal for herself reassured her as nothing else could have. She gained strength and felt better. She had survived. Now all she had to do was heal a bunch of cuts and bruises. No big deal, right?

Meredith grasped the rail and leveraged her other elbow on the counter to stand. Her head only thumped a little harder and a slight smile of triumph lifted the corners of her mouth. She shuffled to the sink to wash her hands and face and rinse her mouth. One glimpse in the mirror and Meredith recoiled in horror, her brief flash of triumph draining away like water through sand. She had known what it felt like to be this hurt; now she knew what it looked like. She carefully opened her ugly hospital gown to look at the rest of herself. Her fragile self esteem plummeted.

Oh, dear God in heaven. She didn't recognize herself through the misshapen swelling. She was something the cat didn't bother dragging in. She was sutured with a million stitches like Sally, the rag doll, in Tim Burton's 'Nightmare Before Christmas'; like the monster, Frankenstein; like Frankenstein's bride. She may as well have knobs in her head.

And her hair! Definitely Frankenstein's bride; no, a bird's nest; no, someone took a mix master to her head when she was unconscious, yeah, that was it. That was on top of the bald spot and stitches on the side of her head. Oh good. That look was in this year.

Fanfiction: Three's a Fantasy

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 19:28:26 GMT

Three's a Fantasy
Ch. 26

Mark and Meredith and Derek

Mark grinned at Derek and murmured low, trying not to wake Meredith, who was out like a light, “Are you okay?”

Derek grinned self deprecatingly back, “I'm more than that. I'm great. I can't believe how lucky we are.”

“You always did what other people wanted you to do. You were always the 'good son'. When it all blew up in your face, I thought...”

“What?”

“I thought you might not ever recover... It sounds dramatic now, but... You were in trouble for years.”

Mark looked down at Meredith when she mumbled and shifted, pressing her face into his chest again. He gently stroked her back and held her close. Derek kissed her shoulder.

“She's precious to us, Derek,” Mark's voice was pensive, “She gave me you, and herself, and a love that works for me. She likes me as me and accepts me.”

He looked across at Derek and said, “I'm glad you enjoyed yourself just now. Meri really wanted it and so did I.”

Derek closed his eyes and rested a moment, thinking about it.

“I never, in my wildest imaginings, ever thought I'd be sharing a girl with you like this. She has some sort of emotional magic, even though she's been so roughed up in life. I don't understand how she enchants me to do things I never thought I'd do, but she does. Mark, you and I... we're good, right?”

“Yeah, more than good, great,” Mark teased Derek with his own words, “I like where you and I are.”

“Yeah, me too. We're good. Listen, I know Meri wants to sleep, but she's going to be sore if she doesn't get a bath. I'm going to run one for her,” Derek gently disengaged from Mark and Meredith and slid backwards out of bed. He pulled the covers up over her back to keep her warm, and stroked her soft hair.

Mark murmured acknowledgment and cuddled Meredith closer, closing his eyes. Mer smelled so sweet, like orange blossoms. He grinned. It was fun to find her new flowers for her bathroom. She said it wasn't a bath anymore, but a flower garden.

Derek must have liked the orange blossom scent too. He used that bubble bath in his garden tub, that was large enough for four. Mark didn't bother trying to wake Meredith. He just picked her up and carried her to the whirlpool tub. She stirred and opened her eyes, then laid her head back on his shoulder, sleepily. He stepped into the tub and sank into the hot suds with Meredith still in his arms. She clung tighter and made a protesting moue at the stings on her abraded flesh.

“Don't pout, sweetheart, you know it's good for you,” Mark lathered her, running soapy hands slickly over Mer's skin.

Derek stepped into the whirlpool with them and laid back against the neck rest, laying his legs opposite Mark's. Meredith giggled at the pair of them in the tub full of orange blossoms. They were going to be a sweet smelling crew for a while. Derek slowly smiled when she said as much.

“I'm too lazy to run my own bath, so I'm sharing yours, oranges and all, honey.”

Derek leaned forward to kiss her sweetly flushed cheek, not minding the light, subtle scent.

Meredith floated to him and washed his soft cock and balls. The water foamed and bubbled all around stimulating her skin. She soaped his chest and arms and scrubbed his back before snuggling under his chin. She turned in Derek's arms and gently fondled Mark's cock and balls clean. She loved the feel of them soft and flexible. Even as she handled him, Mark's cock perked up. Derek's poked her back, as he watched her handle Mark's growing prick. She grinned at Mark with a raised eyebrow. He nodded.

She massaged his cock in earnest now, while Derek held her and watched over her shoulder. As Mark groaned in enjoyment Meredith could feel Derek handling himself against her back. Mark closed his fist over hers and helped her pump, smiling at her gasp of surprise when Derek pinched the tips of her breasts between his fingers. Mark lay his head back against the neck rest and watched through slitted eyes as Derek nipped Meredith's neck and whispered in her ear.

“I'm going to fuck you right here, right now while Mark watches your plump little titties bounce every time I go deep. Don't stop hand fucking him. Please him as you please me.”

“Ye...es,” Meredith breathed, her pussy tingling at that tone in his voice and the slightly painful pinch locks on her nipples. He squeezed and rolled them again and pain turned into ecstatic sparkles firing her skin and making her fat little clit sit up.

“Hold her up, Mark.”

Mark obeyed without question. He held Meredith up by the ribcage while she pumped his cock squeezing it between both hands. Derek knelt behind her and rubbed the silky head of his cock up and down her slit, encouraging her moisture. He positioned himself, pinched her nipples again and plunged hard, even as he kneaded and lifted her breasts. Derek fucked Meredith deeper with each stroke. He dropped her breasts and grabbed her hips holding her for his masculine power.

Mark panted as he watched Meredith's breasts bobbing and bouncing with every manful thrust of Derek's pelvis. She clung to Mark's cock, jerking it as Derek jerked her. Mark kissed Meredith, plunging his tongue deeply in rhythm with Derek's unexpectedly vigorous fucking. Meredith broke away from Mark's mouth to cry out and shudder at the masterful fuck, losing her grip on Mark's cock. Derek immediately stopped and straightened, holding Meredith in front of him. He slapped the top of her thigh with a sharp sound and bit her shoulder at the base of her neck, hard enough to make her squeal and her pussy weep.

Meredith cried out again, her excitement escalating, “I'm sorry, I forgot,” she pleaded.

She reached for Mark's cock, but it was too far away, poking through the bubbles, watching her with one eye. Derek spanked her clitoris, his thick cock buried deep, even as he whispered in her ear.

“This bad girl needs a spank on her twat. I can tell. Close your eyes while I spank you. Don't open your eyes.”

Meredith keened, twisting on Derek's stiff impalement, held in place, helpless to resist the erotic spanking he gave her in front of Mark's face. Having the spank witnessed made it even better than usual. Her pussy contracted hard on Derek's cock, making him grunt. Mark cut off the jets and flipped the drain open. He reached for the shower wand and turned it on. He splashed it over one of Meredith's cherry red nipples. She jerked and moaned, raising her hand instinctively to protect her breast from the overwhelming sensation. Derek never let up spanking her stuffed twat. Keeping her eyes closed made her feel lost to the sensations Derek and Mark gave her. There was nothing to mitigate the effects on her ardor.

Mark spanked her hand and then her breast.

“No, you take it,” he said sternly, forcing her hand away.

Meredith writhed and moaned in ecstasy, keeping her eyes closed, as they flicked and beat and spanked her sensitive nubs, all three. Her panting moans were turning into demanding screams as she pushed frantically on Derek's cock. Mark used the wand everywhere, pounding her pussy, titillating her nipples, tickling her throat and even once, flushing her ass crevice. He finally lay it down when Meredith was pitched so high he thought she might faint. Mark made Mer grab his shoulders and buried his face in her pussy.

Derek let her drop forward and sawed his heavy cock rapidly in and out of her sheathe, grunting with each thrust. Mark mouthed her clit and her stretched pussy lips, letting his tongue lick the place where Meredith and Derek united. He tasted them both, enjoying beyond measure the intimate taste of Derek's cock fucking Meri's pussy. His own cock was ready to explode. Mark went back to Meredith's clit and gently sucked the overstimulated little bit in his mouth providing it a safe haven. She came then, jerking and clenching helplessly, her eyes still obediently tight shut. She curled down over Mark, who wrapped his arms around her waist and licked her navel. His hair tickled her skin, as Derek thrust hard, one last time, grinding his semen into her cervix in a spasm of salacity.

Mark knelt up and looked at Derek over Meredith's alabaster shoulder. He pointed to his dick and Derek nodded understandingly. Derek withdrew and held Meredith strongly against his chest. She murmured inquiringly, not knowing what was happening. Mark positioned his cock and filled her pussy from the front, stretching her wider and angling against her quivering clit. Meredith's lips parted on a long wavering note as her hungry pussy was filled with hot hard cock again. Mark wrapped his arms around both Meredith and Derek. His long reach held Derek's back, as Mark slammed home into Meredith's warmed pussy. It felt so good, like he was fucking them both. The top of his head felt like it would come off, he was so dizzy with lust.

Derek munched her throat, holding Meredith's body still for the erotic pounding from his best friend's giant cock. He absorbed some of the impact with his own body. She lay her head back against his shoulder and went boneless in submission between the two men, unable to even moan any more. Her eyes were glued shut and her breath rasped. Her face was beatific as she came again and then again, her orgasms rolling over her like large waves. Mark gave a shout and filled her well used pussy with ejaculate, his flanks straining for his last few thrusts. Exhausted, he slumped forward and laid his head on Meredith and Derek's left shoulders.

They stayed like that for a moment only, before it was all too much. Meri moaned. This time in protest. Mark eased out of her body and sank back in the empty tub. He turned on the four taps and flipped the drains closed. Then he closed his eyes and lay against the neck rest without moving. Derek had already lowered his girl to her own supported back and neck rest. He shifted and settled down in his corner. The three of them waited in silence and blissed out peace for the bubbling warm water to rejuvenate them.

Fanfiction: Three's a Fantasy

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 19:17:44 GMT

Three's a Fantasy

Ch. 25

Mark and Meredith and Derek

It was as if Derek had taken the stopper out of the genie's bottle. Meredith came out of a place that had been holding her back – a place that restricted her, even though others really couldn't see it. Now, with Derek's and Mark's 'yes', there was nothing in her way. For once she had a chance to create exactly what she wanted since all the ingredients were finally present. Excited frissons danced through her system.

She looked into Mark's beautiful lake blue eyes over Derek's shoulder and said, “Stay with us, Mark, and fuck me, love me when Derek loves me, okay?”

She wrapped her arms around Derek and kissed him. She licked his lips until they parted and then plunged her tongue inside against his. She explored the tantric sex points in the roof of his mouth and nibbled his lips. Derek was instantly seduced by the hot, uninhibited girl in his arms. His softened cock instantly hardened to steel and poked through the slit in his shorts seeking her pussy. Her body was undulating suggestively, erotically against his. She explored his muscled back from his waist to his neck, murmuring between kisses how good he felt.

She wildly pressed against him, rubbing her breasts into his hands and chest, “I want to suck your cock, honey, please, take off your shorts and let me suck it.”

Derek had never seen her get this hot and wild so quickly. He didn't have a chance to regret his decision. He hastily rolled off the bed to strip his shorts and his T-shirt. He absolutely loved what Meredith's lovely mouth could do for his cock. Mark, who'd already stripped, lifted Meredith up to her knees and peeled her top off. He palmed her breasts and squeezed, milking her nipples as he kissed her. She grasped his hard wood in one hand and Derek's in the other, as they each sucked a nipple into their mouths. She moaned in absolute joy as they nursed her breasts, and she milked their silken cocks. Their cocks and mouths felt so good. Streams of sparkling sensations flooded her pussy from her nipples tucked into two hot mouths suckling strongly. Meredith squirmed wildly, panting in lust. She pulled back causing her breasts to stretch out between her chest and their intensely sucking mouths.

“Ah, enough! Enough,” Meredith kissed their faces and throats, touching where she couldn't kiss, twining necks with them until her pussy almost steamed with hot drippings.

“Derek,” she implored, pushing his lightly hair roughened chest, “sit back against the pillows, honey.”

Derek more than willingly sprawled on the pillows against the head board. His perfectly straight penis stood up tall and thick, eagerly waiting for her warm, moist mouth. He glanced at Mark, but Mark's full attention was on Meredith. He helped her turn over onto her hands and knees, her pendulous breasts swaying free with gravity from her body. Meredith smiled at Derek and then at his delicious cock. He was amazingly hot. Her pussy seeped cream as her own heat escalated again. His smile in return was quirky and his eyes were full of warm love. He held his cock towards her experienced mouth. She couldn't wait one more second. She kissed his cock's velvety soft head, while Derek caressed her dark honey hair, still tousled from sleep, back from her face. He undulated a little until his cock poked through her lips, penetrating her hot mouth. Meredith settled in to suckle him. It was heaven.

Mark massaged Meredith's body with long, warm caressing strokes from her satin and lace covered bottom to her silky, bare shoulders. He let some of his long erotic strokes dip around her body to cup her full tits, holding them and rolling her pebble hard nipples between his fingers. Meredith pajama pants were soaked with aromatic moisture, so Mark swept his hands back and hooked the elastic waistband to slide them off her sweet butt and down her thighs. He kissed the arch of her foot and raised her leg to slide the jams off, just as Derek groaned. Mark glanced up to see half of Derek's cock disappear into Meredith's wet mouth. She mumbled her delight around Der's thick organ and slurped noisily. Mark felt his own cock bob eagerly. He watched Derek's face as intently as Der watched Meredith suck her favorite treat. Mark's belly rippled with shared excitement.

This was the ultimate for him. His heart suddenly overflowed with tenderness as he appreciated that Meredith had given him Derek in a way that was impossible for anyone else. Derek groaned again as Meredith gave him expert head. Mark watched him close his eyes and lay back, almost helpless against the pillows. He stroked Derek's leg, then helped Mer the rest of the way out of her jams.

His large hand cupping Meredith's soft ass, Mark leaned forward on one elbow to kiss her face, while she suckled the big cock in her mouth. She paused a moment from Derek's cock, to kiss Mark and suck gently on his tongue. His cock wept and poked hard against her. Then she was kissing and nibbling Derek's sensitive knob again.

“Fuck me,” she whispered to Mark, “fuck me while I eat Derek's cock. Fuck me, sweetie. Oh, God, I'm ready.”

Her voice trembled with lust and love. They'd become the same thing. Their hot breath blew over Derek's prick and he shuddered delightedly.

Derek and Mark exchanged a long, meaningful look as Mark mounted Meredith from behind. She raised her ass higher towards him in anticipation and sucked her prize harder. Derek cupped her cheek and touched her lips that were tightly clamped around his rock hard cock. Still Mark waited. Meredith spread her knees apart and lowered her head and shoulders further, opening widely to him, saying yes in every way she could. She started rocking back and forth, full body, bumping her ass into Mark's enormous cock, as she bobbed her mouth up and down Derek's long length. She stopped sucking and looked over her shoulder, mewling her distress.

“Mark, don't tease, sweetie, please, make love to me. Ah, fuck me!” She cried out to him, pleadingly, as he fingered her sopping wet pussy, watching Derek watch him.

“It's all right, Mark. Fuck Meri, fill her with that giant cock,” Derek said breathlessly, giving his friend permission, not to fuck Meredith, but to deepen something unspoken between them.

Meredith licked his cock again and Derek settled back, happy to receive her ministrations. He watched Mark mount Meri seriously this time, positioning his heavy ram just so. Mark grabbed her slim hips, looked Derek in the eye, and pulled back as he thrust forward, his throat and chest flushing with lust at the tight, amazingly delicious feel. Meredith screamed softly around the cock in her mouth, and Mark grunted. She tongued Derek's heavy meat frantically, eyes closed, while her pussy was penetrated. Derek felt the impact of Mark's cock thrusting to Meredith's wet core, as she gulped his prick deeper on the upthrust. He groaned deep in his chest in pleasure, tilting his head and leaning sideways a little to see her breasts hanging down and swaying with every thrust Mark hammered into her pussy.

By now all of them were grunting and moaning as the sexual tension mounted. Mark slowly withdrew and then firmly thrust to Mer's core again. It felt so good he had to go faster, and faster, until he was fucking her as hard as he could, rocking her slim body with each impact. His wide shoulders and hard body torso dwarfed her narrow feminine form. Derek watched Mark lose himself in fucking Meri. He witnessed Meri's extreme carnal pleasure, being sensationally fucked by another man, as she sucked him beatifically, and was genuinely surprised how much it excited him.

Meredith let Derek's cock fall from her mouth as she screamed her release from Mark's glorious fuck against her G spot. He kept fucking her even as her pussy clenched his cock, spasming wildly. Derek stuffed her mouth insistently with his glistening wet prick again. Sensation rapidly rebuilt for her.

The sounds of Mark's belly slapping Mer's butt, and her grunting screams, muffled by his cock, turned Derek on. He knew those sounds. They was associated with ultimate, mind blowing pleasure. He grinned and relaxed inside. He really was okay with this. He was going to be able to give Meredith what she craved occasionally. His cock was so ready to explode it was almost painful. But he wondered if they should try the whole experience. If Meredith wanted both, she should have both, all the way.

“Mark, let Meredith sit on my cock and then take her ass. You like that, anyway,” Derek said, panting and sweating with sex, as Meredith gobbled his cock now without mercy, “She... wants it all... lets give it to her.”

Mark nodded, his chest and belly gleaming with perspiration. God, he wanted this so badly. He wanted it more than Meredith. He let himself come a little with masterful control and then pulled his cock from her warm sheathe. Meredith cried out in reaction, protesting the loss.

Derek gently eased her lips off his prick, pushing her back. Meredith was almost in tears from the double abandonment. She pouted up at him reproachfully, her eyes big and liquid. She was so far gone she couldn't understand what they were doing. Derek hauled her up his chest and hugged her tight, closing his mouth over hers, lovingly shushing her. Mark lay close behind her, against her side and back, his leg over Derek's and cupped her pussy in his warm, rubbing palm. He gently slid two moistened fingers into her tight ass and finger fucked it, while Derek kissed her deeply. Meredith squirmed in need, her pussy dripping with her own fluid and Mark's minor orgasm.

“Please, Derek... please... honey... please...” Meredith was almost continually pleading for it now. Her eyes were no more than slits and her face and throat and chest were flushed rosy pink. Derek lifted her over his throbbing cock, with Mark's fingers still gently rubbing in and out of her ass. Meredith plunged eagerly down and back, riding Derek's cock and Mark's fingers with her hands pressed to Derek's chest, leaning forward with her lips parted, panting air. The sensation was exquisite.

Mark pushed on her back so she bent forward, following his direction. Derek drew her head down for a deep kiss, and Mark pressed his cock into her sweet ass, arching over the two people he loved best. Meredith cried out into Derek's mouth and went very still. Her pussy was full to the brim with cock and now her ass was being slowly penetrated with cock. She closed her eyes to savor it. She lay her head on Derek's shoulder, her face in his throat, her breathing shallow. Derek pressed up and Mark pressed down. Meredith moaned.

Derek reached between them and rubbed two fingers against her sensitive clit escalating her pleasure until she moaned with each out breath, whimpering softly. Derek could feel Mark entering against his already present prick. The sensation was incredible for him, and he could tell Meri loved it too. He smoothed caresses down her side and arm, gently stroking her and letting Mark do the work. She was beautiful, as she slowly accepted both her men into her body. It only took a few minutes of Mark gently pumping her ass and pulling her into her double fill to make her explode into ecstasy again. Derek kissed her cheek and throat holding her close as he too let go. It was an enormous relief and joy. He panted and let himself spurt over and over into her depths.

Mark experienced first Meredith and then Derek orgasming, and felt it viscerally. He was a part of them. He loved them so much tears stung his eyes. He let himself move more freely now that Derek was shrinking back. He loved the elegant line of Meri's back, and admired it, as he pumped a little faster into Mer's lovely butt, rocking her pussy on Derek's cock still. He shouted his full release as he emptied his balls. Meredith collapsed down, half on the bed and half on Derek. Mark followed her down, still inserted, and lay with most of his weight to the side off her. He stretched his arm over his head and felt soft hair. He wasn't sure if it was Derek's or Meredith's, and at this point no one cared.

Meredith lay sandwiched between Derek and Mark. Mm. She didn't want to move, but she had to. Mark eased his dick out of her butt, kissing her on the nape of her neck. She shivered and rhythmically squeezed her inner muscles on Derek's cock until it popped free of her pussy. Derek kissed her shoulder and chuckled at her unique way of expelling him. She shifted in his arms, turning on her side. Derek and Mark followed suit. Meredith faced Mark and snuggled her cheek comfortably into his chest, her arm around his waist. Her eyes slowly drifted shut. Derek spooned her slim body from behind, hugging an arm around her, his hand on her breast. In the next instant Meredith was asleep. Derek looked over her at Mark and winked.

Fanfiction: Three's a Fantasy

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 19:06:31 GMT

Three's a Fantasy

Ch. 24

Mark and Meredith and Derek

Derek kissed Meredith awake with tiny butterfly kisses all over her face. She resisted waking at first, groaning and turning over onto her tummy away from him. So he simply lifted her soft satin gown and gave her delectable plush ass the same treatment. Her delicate skin shivered with chill bumps as he switched from kissing to nipping. Meredith stretched luxuriously and turned back to him.

“Hi,” she said in a sexy, hoarse morning voice.

“Hi yourself, birthday girl,” Derek crawled higher up her body and dropped full length over her. He was already stiff from playing with her lovely ass. His cock poked her satin and lace covered mound and pouted clear tears when it had to be satisfied with rubbing her soft belly. Meredith shifted, femininely uncomfortable under his sudden weight and demanding cock.

“What? Birthday girl? Is today my... ?” Meredith stumbled over the words in dawning surprise, counting the dates and days in her head, “Well, yeah, I suppose it is. But... how did you know?”

“When Nurse Olivia had her birthday, right after you and I started dating again, Mark and I realized we didn't know your birthdate. He looked it up on personnel records for us. Why didn't you tell us it was so close? You never said a word! It's a good thing we're good boyfriends. Good boyfriends always remember birthdays,” Derek teased her with little kisses and the gentle undulation of his hips.

“Hey,” said an amused voice from the door, “You were supposed to wake her to get ready for breakfast. This looks a lot like something else in here.”

Ignoring Derek (who told him to go do something just not right), Mark leaned over to kiss Meredith on her raspberry lips and murmur, “Happy birthday, princess.”

“Thanks, Marky.”

Derek reluctantly rolled aside knowing that they had a plan and a timetable this weekend. There'd be plenty of time later to fuck Meredith silly. Besides, he could hardly wait to give her his gift! She was going to flip out! The excitement of the gift did nothing to chill his hot cock. If anything it lengthened and hardened. He wrapped a fist around its aching length under a fold in the sheet.

“Ooh, Derek, that looks so yummy,” Meredith teased and Derek groaned. He should have known she'd notice. Meredith always noticed his cock.

Mark glanced down too and grinned, not at all embarrassed. He was at half mast himself from just watching Derek suggest a fuck with his body movements. Meredith held out her arm to him, encouraging him to lay on the bed and hug her. Mark checked Derek's face cautiously. This was his bed, not Meredith's, and not Mark's. But Derek was smiling at Meredith trying to wrap her own fist around his rock hard cock. It was her birthday, why not? Instead of holding her off he grabbed her hand and wrapped it around his cock, helping her pump it fuller, under the cover. He figured Mark could leave and he'd fuck Meredith silly now, rather than later, since that is what it seemed she wanted.

Meredith pouted at Mark when he wouldn't obey her request immediately. She wanted him. She wanted Derek. She wanted them both. Her hot little pussy heated and creamed for her boys. She couldn't choose. Why should she? Derek was hers. Mark was hers. She wanted them to fill her together. She wanted to be held and loved and teased and fucked by both at the same time. One wasn't always enough. She needed their combined heat to counteract the cold at her core. She longed for it. She'd dreamed and fantasized over it.

“Ah, look, sorry I interrupted, I'm out of here,” Mark uncomfortably shifted when he realized Meredith wanted her pussy fucked [i]now[/i], and Derek was primed and ready to fuck her.

“No wait, Mark. My birthday... do you guys realize that no one has celebrated my birthday since I was five? Not even me. I stopped even pretending to have a birthday when I was sixteen. Mom said she had a surprise for me that week. I thought she'd remembered my sixteenth. You know – sweet sixteen. The surprise turned out to be that her book was accepted by a New York publisher. She left, the day before my birthday, to meet with her new agent and publicist. It had nothing to do with me at all. I ate cold Spaghettios out of a can for my birthday that year. That was the day I gave up any childish expectations I had left.”

Mer smiled at them sweetly to counteract any bitterness that her words carried. It was long in the past and her life was much better now. They looked at each other soberly as another shard of the broken glass that was her past with her mother was revealed. Meredith held her hands out for theirs, clutching them and gently stroking her cheeks with the backs of their hands. Mark finally sat on the bed next to her.

“I'd like a gift this year from the two of you. I know I don't have any right to ask. You've both been amazing boyfriends to me. You've already made me incredibly happy and gifted me with so much. Derek, you, especially, have had to really open up to meet my needs. So, if the answer is 'no', I'm okay with that. I'm just hoping it's 'yes'.”

Meredith hesitated, knowing that once the words were said she couldn't take them back. She didn't want to risk what she already had for a fantasy.

“What's the matter, baby? What are you afraid of?” Derek asked, reassuringly, his deep blue eyes incredibly warm.

“Don't you know you can ask us for anything, sweetheart?” Mark kissed her cheek and flashed his pretty, white grin at her.

“I love you, Derek. I do. I love Mark, too. What I share with each of you is different than what I share with the other. Both has been incredible. The best in my life. Now... now, I... now I want to try more together. Okay? Can we try making love together?”

Meredith couldn't look at them once she said the words. Mark raised his brows and never took his eyes from her, but he wasn't surprised. Meredith glowed when they both kissed her or hugged her at the same time. She craved the two of them. She loved both Derek and himself so much. Of course she wanted them both to fuck her. It wasn't surprising she wanted it. The only surprise was how long it had taken her to ask for it. If he were in her place he didn't think he could have waited half so long. Mark looked over at Derek after a long moment.

“Meredith, you mean you want Mark and me to share you? You'll be okay if Mark watches me fuck you, or I watch Mark fuck you?” Derek's face was unreadable, “You want us to fuck you together?”

He lifted her chin up on the edge of his hand, so he could see her face.

“I only want that if it will make you hot, if you like it. If you don't like it, we'll stay how we are. I know this gets really odd for you,” Meredith looked up at him and then looked away again.

“Baby, don't be ashamed to ask me for anything. I know Mark's been fucking you. I know you love it. I hope you love what I do with you too. I get it,” Derek drew a deep breath. He'd also seen this coming, “Mark, you're okay with this?”

“Of course,” Mark said simply, “I'll try almost anything once. If I don't like it, I'll say 'no' at the moment or to a second time. That's all. I've told you before, Derek, that our arrangement really works for me. I'm happy. If Meredith wants to try it, I'm all for it. Any way she wants to fuck is fine with me.”

Derek held her face up again and covered her mouth with his, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Meredith's face lit up, “Okay?”

“Yes! Okay.”

Meredith threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, “Oh Goddess, I'm a lucky woman.”

She turned her head to look at Mark over Der's shoulder. The sun was rising in her smile. He couldn't resist kissing her happily on the lips. Neither one of them had known if Derek would be okay with this.

Fanfic: Dreams of Love

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 09:07:26 GMT

I disclaim ownership of Grey's Anatomy.

Dreams of Love

Just a note: For some reason, this was a very difficult chapter to write. I must have rewritten it six times. (Like the last 5 or 6 chapters.) When I posted it tonight I still wasn't sure if it was satisfying, you know? My husband said I'd just gone over it so much, I could no longer tell. He's probably right. He loved it and urged me to stop fiddling with it and go ahead and post it. So here it is ... ready or not.

Dreams of Love

Chapter 46: Breathe With Me

Derek's normally extremely steady neurosurgeon's hand hesitated and trembled as
he brushed a flyaway strand of honey gold hair from Meredith's bruised forehead. She was still and pale, her eye swollen black and blue from the blow to her cheekbone, her face slack. Karev and the nurses had propped her up on her side so that they could expose the field of injury on Meredith's body for Dr. Sloan's expert ministrations. Nurse Tyler had washed the blood from her hair and Alex had stitched her scalp laceration closed, using everything Sloan had taught him. While Alex was closing the lac, Tyler and Debbie had gone ahead and washed the rest of Meredith's body. It wasn't protocol, but the nurses thought she'd want that man's creepy serial rapist/ killer hands washed off of her as soon as possible. In addition to the medication in her IVs, they placed cold packs on her thighs, back, hips, and face to help reduce the swelling and pain. Tyler meticulously timed the packs, applying them fifteen to twenty minutes out of every hour. Ortho had braced her wrist and hand in a temporary splint, ready to cast when she awoke. Tyler went ahead and cold packed her hand too.

Pain skewered Derek's heart and worry clouded his mind as he pressed his lips gently, over and over, to the edges of Meredith's mouth and the unbruised side of her jaw. He gently framed her face with both hands, using no pressure at all. He breathed in the scent that was only Meredith and felt comforted for a moment. She slowly inhaled and he fancifully imagined Meredith was comforted by his scent too. Their lips touched again and they breathed together.

“Breathe with me, pretty girl. I love you so much, please... breathe with me forever,” Derek's soul-felt words were a mere whisper of sound between their sensitive lips.

A tear glistened on his eyelid, but didn't fall. Meredith seemed so tiny and frail, spotlighted in the brilliant light Sloan and Karev needed to smoothly close her wounds. Contusions were blooming dark purple, all over her body, minute by minute. She'd been badly beaten, and Derek had to force himself not to think of each blow she'd taken. The tear trembled for a moment and then trickled down the path the others had taken.

Alex Karev, looking at Shepherd's haggard face, forgave him the time he'd taken. The man looked like death warmed over. His black curls were sweat soaked and his teeth chattered with the chill of shock. Alex had to look away from the naked love and agony, hope and despair mixed on Shepherd's face. It was far too personal to witness.

“Der ... ek, you know ... I will,” Meredith's eyelids fluttered and parted to reveal a clear light green.

“Hey, welcome back,” Derek said tenderly, touching his lips, soft as a butterfly's wings to her swollen left eye, “I missed you.”

“I ... missed you ... too ... love,” her voice was a breath of sound only.

She weakly tried to shift her body.

“Whoa, Genie Eyes. No moving. Not yet. Sloan has to finish your side still,” Alex said quickly, holding her in place.

Mark, precisely and almost invisibly seaming Meredith's flesh, murmured teasingly, softly, to the barely conscious girl, “You're just in time, Meredith, I'm starting under your breast. Are you sure you don't want a double D cup while I'm at it?”

Derek looked up to rebuke him, but then saw the ghost of a smile cross Meredith's lips. She liked Mark and Alex, and whether Derek liked it or not, God willing, Meredith would get well and join their team. His petty jealousy over Plastics or Neuro seemed so ... well ... petty. Derek would tolerate a lot to see that tiny smile on Meredith's face again.

“I've decided you can join my team in Plastics if you want, little mistress. I need a surgeon on my team who wields a knife like you do,” Sloan said admiringly, but this time Mer's brow puckered with a slight frown at his quip.

She was unsettled by the reminder.

“C ... c ... c ... cold.”

Derek gently rubbed her arm with a warm hand, and then covered her arm and shoulder with the edge of the thin hospital blanket, tucking it under. He asked Tyler for another blanket for her arms and one for her legs.

“I know, sweetheart. Tyler's using cold packs on your bruises.”

“Then ... I ... must be ... one big bruise.”

She really was. Derek glanced down the table at Sloan and Karev. The three of them dwarfed Meredith. Even lying on her side she barely raised the sheet off the table. He smiled sadly. How in the world had his petite girl fought off a serial rapist/ murderer? It was a miracle. He knew it before, but now it dawned on him anew how lucky they were that she hadn't been raped or murdered. Gratitude flooded him, until a terrible, insidious inner voice ended the thought with the word, “... yet.” He closed his eyes for a moment and shoved the dark voice down with all his strength.

“I'm ... sorry ... Derek. So ... sorry,” Meredith's shame flooded back to her as she remembered the attack in detail, “I ... tried to fight. I ... really did. I ... just wasn't good enough ... worthless ... a nothing ... like Mom said.”

Alex and Mark both paused and looked up at her faint words. Derek's face blanched with pain. Ellis ... he'd forgotten about Ellis. Meredith had taken a beating from her too.

“Sh, sh. Meredith you did fight. That psychotic didn't rape you. And even if he had ... it would have been on him, not you! I don't know how you managed it, but you held him off. And Meredith ... I hate to be the one to tell you this ... in fact, I'm sure it's complete news to you, but – your mother has an evil mouth. There is something seriously wrong with that woman and it isn't Alzheimer's,” Derek kissed Meredith's thin hand and then her unbruised cheek again, while Mark and Alex smirked and went back to their job, “She's the one who wasn't good enough ... a hateful woman ... and a worthless mother.”

“But, Derek ... that man ... he ... he ...,” Meredith tried to form a sentence, but her brain was still addled and splintered with pain.

“Hush, don't try to speak. You need to save your strength to get well, my pretty girl,” Derek murmured.

“Not so pretty any more, if I ever was,” tears pitifully leaked from the corners of Meredith's eyes, “I know I look awful.”

“No, baby, you still look like the beautiful love of my life. Nothing will ever change that. You just feel awful, but we're making you well again,” Derek promised her, with an adoring look.

Derek caressed Meredith's slim arm. He hated seeing her so weak and hurt. His fingers traced beseeching patterns on her smooth, cool skin, silently asking her to heal. The coolness of her skin bothered him. The blankets weren't helping much.

“You're so cold, honey. I'll warm you up,” he whispered, trying to keep the worry and fear out of his voice.

He reminded himself he needed to be strong for her. But, the bleed in her brain could even now be increasing. These might be the last few minutes he had with Meredith ... no ... no. He struggled not to think that way. It would stop and reduce on its own. He knew it. Nothing else was possible.

“Your feet must be freezing if your arms are this cold,” Derek murmured to her, and stood and walked around the table.

He stroked Meredith's bare, frozen feet and pressed them under his shirts to his warm belly. Her feet felt like blocks of solid ice. He caught his breath at the memory of her pressing her cold feet against him in bed the last couple of nights. They'd been so happy then. Their worries seemed so minor now.

He rubbed her bare legs, below her knees, briskly. At least she wasn't bruised there. Tyler removed a cold pack from Meredith's thigh and put one on her hip. Derek held Mer's slim feet and watched Mark Sloan continue his work with a smooth, even rhythm, that Alex tried to emulate.

Alex was perspiring under the intense lights as Mark Sloan and he worked on closing the terrible wounds on Meredith Grey's side and under her breast. They'd already finished the deep stab wound in her shoulder. Alex concentrated fiercely, trying not to second guess the decision he'd made about Meredith's care. Her little body was so fragile now. She had to be okay, she just had to. He, a surgeon, had chosen not to cut... What if he'd made the wrong decision? The Chief of Surgery disagreed with him... What if Meredith died? What if ...? Alex shook it off and focused on assisting Sloan again. He had to trust his first instinct. He knew he was right. He had to ignore the scared man at his side, his battered friend on the table, as well as the haunting doubts in his head, to do his job.

“How does it look, Mark?” Derek finally asked Sloan in a hoarse voice, hugging Meredith's feet.

Sloan glanced up at him, and paused in taking micro sutures. He glanced at Meredith's face and realized the pain meds had made her drift away again.

“She should have very little scarring. It was long and deep in two places, but I'm confident she'll heal well. Her shoulder will need rehab. There was extensive muscle damage,” Mark said very softly and calmly, “She's a very lucky girl, compared to his other victims.”

“And Yang? How's she?” Derek got out.

“She has three shallow stab wounds in her back. I took care of them. None were bad. The kicks to her hips and legs were pretty terrible but I don't think he kicked her in the gut. She's in MRI now. Apparently, your little girlfriend had already stabbed him in his shoulder, sliced across his chest, and broken his nose,” he shook his head in disbelieving admiration, “Then Yang head butted him with her helmet. She may have cracked his rib or caused him to have internal bleeding. All that attenuated his blows on Yang.”

Mark's work was almost invisible, even and precise, even as he talked.

“And Stevens managed to scratch the hell out of him. Damn, those girls were something else! All three of them mopped the floor with that jerk. They're different, these women,” Mark said admiringly as he smoothed Meredith's cut flesh, “That asshole didn't stand a chance. Did you know Meredith carried a knife? I still can't believe she charged that son of a bitch.”

Please, Meredith, I need you so much. You've already fought so hard ... just a little more.

Derek slowly nodded. He rubbed her legs gently. Her frozen feet were thawing against his abdomen. His insides quaked with the transferred chill from Meredith, heaped on top of the icy core of fear in his gut. His lips were turning blue and trembling.

“Yes ... I saw her use it for the first time when we were on vacation in Napa,” Derek said softly, and then pressed his lips together.

He remembered watching Meredith whip out her knife and cut open the balloon accident victim's shirt so she could defibrillate him. She'd been so brave then. She'd been beyond brave today. In spite of Ellis and Thatcher Grey, Meredith Grey was a nonpareil. She really was. As Mr. Sandage said, he was proud of her.

Proud and worried, he wiped his face with his sleeve, drying his chapped face, still holding Mer's feet to him. Then, suddenly exhausted, Derek pulled a chair over and sat, laying his face against his love's slim feet. His sensitive surgeon's fingertips gently stroked her arches and he pressed his lips to the tops of her feet. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the table, waiting for Mark to finish.

For the love of God, let him finish soon.

"I can believe she did it," said Alex ruefully, "I've seen her use that knife before too."

He knew all about that little knife. Meredith had used it against him in their Race more than once. And he knew she had more courage than most people thought. He'd had first hand experience of it.

“She told me, once, she's carried it since she was a teenager,” Alex said musingly, glancing again at Meredith's still features.

“Hm. Well, they're going to have to take that murderer up to MRI, too. He may actually have internal bleeding,” Sloan snorted, and shrugged, not disturbed in the least by the prospect.

o-o-o

After Dr. Sloan and Dr. Karev finished their work, Adelmann examined Meredith again. He spoke soothingly as he delicately and thoroughly examined her, just as he had to the other victims. Meredith was almost magically reassured and calmed by the fat, little man, with the gentle touch. He ordered another MRI to check the bleed. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when they saw it hadn't increased in size. Karev may have been right.

Derek felt like Meredith had graduated somehow when they settled her in a room next to pre-op rather than leave her on the surgical floor, so she could have more privacy. Sloan took his leave, but Alex stayed. He needed to see Meredith in the clear.

“How is she?” asked Izzie from the door, pushing Cristina in a wheelchair.

“Take me over there, Izzie,” Cristina directed bossily, even though her voice was hazy with exhaustion, shock, and pain killers.

Derek looked up in surprise. Then winced at the darkening bruises around Izzie's throat and at the lump on the side of her head, where her attacker had banged it into his car. Then he winced again at Cristina's bruises, IV bag, and small, bandaged body wrapped in three patient gowns and a thin intern blanket. Mr. Sandage, looking grey and tired, slowly walked in behind the abused women and immediately sought a chair. It was very late, and he was almost at the end of his endurance. As Alex gave them the update on Meredith, Izzie crossed the room and parked Cristina at the head of the table, opposite Derek.

“Yang, you need to be in bed,” said Derek, stating the obvious, “You too, Stevens. We'll let you know if there are any changes. I can't believe Burke let you out of his sight. What was he thinking?”

“Burke and the Chief went to find out what happened to security in the lot tonight,” Izzie smirked, “Apparently the guard for that lot was drunk on duty and passed out in his vehicle. Anyway, Cristina pretended she was asleep and as soon as they left, we escaped.”

“Don't even think of busting me to Burke,” Cristina growled at Tyler, who was lifting a phone receiver, “Meredith needs me.”

“I'm glad you're here Cristina. Alex ... told me what ... you and Izzie did. Thank you,” said Meredith simply, exhausted and drifting.

Derek and Cristina's eyes met over Meredith. Neither had ever really liked the other. Derek had tolerated Yang, and Cristina had endured Shepherd, both for Meredith's sake only. But tonight things were different. Derek knew that Yang had risked her own life to save her friend, the love of his life. It was most likely her intervention that had saved Meredith from being raped or killed. Cristina knew that it was Shepherd (and Stevens) that had saved her from certain rape and murder. They were both humbled by the knowledge. They both loved Meredith and now there was enough room in both their hearts for them to accept that Meredith loved and needed both of them. Derek pressed a kiss to the corner of Meredith's mouth again, and Cristina covered Meredith's hand with hers.

“Cristina! What are you doing out of bed? I've been looking everywhere for you,” Burke was seriously upset, “Stevens, what are the two of you doing?”

“We're checking on Meredith, Dr. Burke. Cristina needs to be here and so do I,” Izzie answered, when Cristina simply ignored her fiancé.

Even Izzie's eyes now had dark circles under them, and her natural effervescence was completely flattened. Before Burke could say anything else, Derek shrugged and ordered Tyler and Alex to have another bed brought into Meredith's room for Cristina. She needed to be in bed too, and he didn't want anyone to fight her over it. Burke saw Cristina settled, nodded to Shepherd, and went home for a few hours sleep. Alex and Izzie and Mr. Sandage tiredly left together to find an on-call room. All of them asked to be called if there were any changes.

Meredith and Cristina both slept quietly. Derek, alone now with his thoughts, kicked off his shoes and carefully climbed in bed with her, trying not to jostle her. Tyler layered extra blankets on the couple and another on Dr. Yang.

“Tyler,” Dr. Shepherd said with soft intensity, “Dr. Grey is the love of my life. One day I'm going to marry her.”

“Yes sir,” Tyler acknowledged the claim, as he had once before.

Somehow, having a witness at Grace made it official. Meredith had to get well now. Tyler lowered the lights further for them and moved on to his next patient, feeling as if he were involved in something sacred again.

P.S. I really love Derek's face in this pic. I thought it was perfect for this chapter. Will answer comments and pms this weekend. Sorry, I'm behind, but I wouldn't let myself go there until Dreams 46 was posted. : )

Fanfiction: Three's a Fantasy

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:28:04 GMT

Three's a Fantasy

Ch. 23

Meredith and the guys at home

Meredith heard the door slide and ran excitedly through the house on moccasined feet. Derek and Mark were home! They had a few precious hours together before she had to take another five to five shift. After she'd hung up from Cristina, she managed to pay her bills, run to the dry cleaners, picking up all their clothes, and run to Pike's Place Fish Market on the wharf for boat fresh shellfish and fresh vegetables. She would have made lunch too, but her cooking was not up to the high standards that both Derek and Mark set. She wanted Mark to make his famous Mediterranean paella. Both she and Derek loved it and, since they all ate crummy hospital food most of the time, she thought a treat would be a good thing. She was the one who insisted they cook something wonderful to share once a day.

“Hi!” Meredith flew through the air to get to Derek's arms. He laughed and dropped everything in the foyer to catch her and swing her around.

“Hey, lambchop, I missed you!” he kissed her firmly and held her close.

“Ah! Lambchop! No, Derek, I refuse to be called lambchop!” Meredith scowled at her lover, struggling to get out of his arms on principle.

“What are you laughing at, you jerk,” Mer snapped at Mark, “You were the one who started these awful names as I recall. Now look where it's taken me – lambchop!”

Mark caught Meredith when Derek tossed her over. He smooched her close and hugged her tight.

“I missed you too, pumpkin,” Mark grinned evilly as she squealed and tried to kick him.

“Hey, hey, is that any way for a lady to behave?” Derek teased, hugging her from behind while Mark held her from the front. They took turns kissing her face as she twisted and turned, trying to get away. When she couldn't, she finally relaxed and let the bad temper be smooched from her system. They were both so bad, rubbing against her, caressing her, pinching her gently and kissing her until she was submissive to anything, even being called 'lambchop'. Finally, they just held her between them, loving her.

They laughed when her stomach growled, breaking the spell. Meredith asked Mark to make the paella and they all trooped into the kitchen to help. Meredith already had everything set out, so Mark rapidly started. He put the mussels and clams on to steam and pulled out his paellera, a special round flattened pan with two handles. As Derek and Meredith chopped vegetables and chilies, Mark did the honors. He used tumeric, Spanish saffron, oregano, thyme, salt and pepper to flavor the ancient Spanish rice dish. He added the shellfish to the vegetables and rice and spices and within forty five minutes, while Meredith chattered about her antique finds, the paella was ready.

They ate together in their dining room. It had a gorgeous view of the bay out a bow front window. Silk and lace ruched drapes softly framed the beautiful view and silk and lace pillows decorated the padded window seat. Drawers under the window seat were filled with linens – tablecloths, napkins, runners, skirts, placemats, napkin rings, etc. Derek had chosen a very dark mahogany table and chairs. The seat of each chair was plushly cushioned. Lunch here was dining in style and all three of them loved it.

Derek and Mark told Meredith about their surgeries throughout the day. They typically, competitively tried to one up each other until they were all laughing.

“I wish I'd been there,” Meredith said, her eyes sparkling.

“Yeah, me too, you could have drained pus for Mr. Thomas and changed bandages for Ms. Owens every two hours,” Mark said bluntly.

“Mark! You're so mean to me at work! Derek would have let me do more,” Meredith prompted Derek.

“Yep, you could have checked Mr. Slakowski's shunt every twenty minutes to make sure it stayed clear, and prepped all my patients for surgery by giving enemas and shaving heads – always a popular job,” Derek grinned when she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Face it, baby girl, first year interns aren't really allowed to do anything in surgery very often,” Mark said, not unsympathetically.

“Tell me about it; pus, poop, dead skin, vomit, pee, blood, shaving, reports, vitals, babysitting, stitches. My life in a nutshell. How come I'm fucking not one, but two, count 'em, great and powerful surgeons, and this is still the sad description of my work life?” Meredith wrinkled her nose at them, “Giving head to heads of surgery just doesn't pay what it used to.”

Derek and Mark laughed at her wry, cute expression.

“Doll baby, I'm willing to do just about anything you want for one of your patented jobs, you know that, but if I gave you an ounce of different treatment from the other interns, you'd flay me and hang me up to dry. When that changes, you say the word, and I'll happily favor you, sugar britches,” Mark blew an air kiss to her.

“Mark, if you want me to ever suck your cock again, you will never call me sugar britches again! Ah! You two are bad,” Meredith cleared the table and swatted Mark cheerfully in the process. He pinched her bottom and caused her to yelp on her way into the kitchen. Mark winked at Derek.

“Honey,” Derek snagged her as she came back in the dining room, “You know you can have anything you want from either of us. Say the word.”

“Oh silly, I don't need anything. All first years complain. It's our saving grace,” Meredith kissed him, “Thanks for offering though, both of you. I love you guys.”